Aloha Friday – This Is Where I Ask YOU Something
Bloggers have a thing we call a “meme”. I think it stands for “Me! Me!” but regardless, there’s one for every day of the week somewhere. I always participate in Random Tuesday Thoughts because I’m both random and very good friends with the participants and Wordless Wednesday because it’s a nice mid-week break to not have to write while still being funny.
Today I can’t think of a single story. I haven’t had any really exceptional things happen to me lately. Quite the opposite. I’ve cut ties with a close family member and I’m also worried about the health of my children but there are just certain things I won’t blog about. Peeing in the shower is one thing, family drama is another. I’m so very tempted to but I won’t.
That being said I’m going to play this game. It’s pretty cool. I came up with questions and all you have to do is answer it. If you’re a blogger playing leave your link in the linky down there so I can go to your site and play on your blog. This here are my questions -
How would you handle the damage created by a family member that was so severe it caused people to cut ties? When things have been said that can not be repaired? Do these things last forever?
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I think family ties can always be mended. Forgive and forget. I can never hold a grudge (too) long.
Anthony from CharismaticKid´s last [type] ..Free Range Parents: Building a Sense of Community in Your Neighborhood
Julie Maloney Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 8:11 am
I’m going to hold this one for a solid while but I’m still young so we’ll see what happens. Thanks.
Fortunately I don’t have to deal with that crap in my family. But, my husband’s family is another story. There is always someone who isn’t speaking to someone else. Drama,after drama. Personally I try to stay out of it and distance myself from those involved. I’m more likely to keep a pleasant yet shallow relationship than cut someone off completely but if it were to have a serious negative impact on my kids I’d cut all ties I suppose. Generally, I try to be forgiving and understanding that everyone has their own shit to deal with in their own way.
Serendipity is Sweet´s last [type] ..Aloha Friday #103
Oooo…that’s a hard one. Personally, if at all possible, avoid them so they don’t ruin your day. Unless of course they live with you. Then try hard to work it out. Good luck!!
Cathi´s last [type] ..Aloha Friday – Favorite Place
unfortunately sometimes things just can not be repaired. Give it time and see if people have changed or be forgiven. It is hard and it sucks.
Secret Mom Thoughts´s last [type] ..10 Years
● Q: How would you handle the damage created by a family member that was so severe it caused people to cut ties?
● A: Lots of women refer to dead beat dads as “sperm donors”. In light of this, let us hence forth refer to shitty moms as “incubators”.
● Q: How would you handle when things have been said that can not be repaired?
● A: “You shouldn’t burn any bridges” – Page 1 of the Bridge Builders Manual.
● Q: Do these things last forever?
● A: It’s been so long since I studied French that I forgot what “c’est la vie” means. But hey, that’s life.
● RE: Aloha Friday: ♬ “You say aloha and I say aloha.”♬ I guess Hawaiian Beatles songs don’t work as well.
Dr. B.´s last [type] ..What Are The Odds Michele Bachmann Will Confuse These Other Public Figures?
Aloha Friday to you!!! I’m an Army wife on Schofield & a new follower here via the Blog Hop… Hope you have a great weekend!!!
– http://www.OliviaBlueMusic.com/
If the damage is done and irreparable, I’d cut off all ties and cauterize it! Forgive and forget – about them! A little too harsh? *sigh*
Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I hope you have a good weekend!
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Aloha Friday – No Hugs For Mommy
Julie Maloney Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 8:10 am
Yeah but it’s my mom…
The only liquids that really bond people are sweat and tears. Fuck blood.
IMO
Acadia´s last [type] ..Friday Nineties – Blackstreet – No Diggity
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with family member drama – been there, done that. You know that saying “Time Heals All Wounds”? Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn’t. Though mostly it does, depending on the people and circumstances. Sometimes you’re better off without that person in your life, but it’s going to take time to go through the mourning and healing process. You’ll get there. And you have us to keep you sane. Well, you know.
((HUGZ!!))
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last [type] ..Facebook Schmacebook – Aloha Friday Follow
Julie Maloney Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 8:09 am
Thanks. That’s great advice. I’m actually going to have to start talking about it in therapy because I’m losing sleep over it.
“How would you handle the damage created by a family member that was so severe it caused people to cut ties? When things have been said that can not be repaired? Do these things last forever?”
Damn Julie, not only are you a Hot Server Mama, but your psychic as well…Just this week coming tomorrow, I had a family member not only burn a bridge to me, but she Napalmed it!
“Do these things last forever?”…Well that just depends how ‘forever’ infinity is…NuffSaid.
Be Well, Be Safe, and Be Tan…Aloha From Sunny South Florida
Don E. Chute´s last [type] ..ASK EL PRESIDENTE — WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH 181 BILLION $$$
Thanks for stopping by yesterday! Hope you enjoyed my blog. As far as your question. We’ve had a couple of those in our family. My cousin & I (at the time only teenagers didn’t talk for 20 yrs. over a boy believe it or not, but then I guess we finally grew up (but she’s still a snob – snicker). People have a tendency to just grow up. Life is too short to hold a grudge, and the sooner people realize that the better off they are. Have a great weekend.
Xmasdolly´s last [type] ..Friday Photo Flashback, Follow Friday and ALOHA Friday!
Julie Maloney Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 7:59 am
Thanks for the advice. This is a mother/daughter thing and it’s just gone way too far. There comes a time when the child gets the respect due and she’s just unable to give it.
I have had to walk away from toxic people before and once it was indeed a family member. Not easy, but definitely necessary.
For those of us that are directionally challenged (I mean any kinds of directions – fill in this form, make a right at the light, etc.) where do we answer the questions???
Sooo I’m going to go for broke & answer them here…
I haven’t spoken with my aunt in probably 10+ years. She was seriously mean and hurtful to my mother who I’m very close with.(…you don’t mess w/my mom…ever!)
On the other hand, when it comes to family I invoke the “stupidity clause” which assumes that someone in my family is always going to say stupid things…and they get one “get out of jail free” card, PROVIDED THERE’S GROVELLING! And I mean some serious apologizing / begging for forgiveness.
Oh, and enough time has to have passed, that I don’t want to punch them just for stopping by.
Sooo did I do this right???
Ps. Sorry your family is driving you crazy right now. I know it sucks!
Stefanie´s last [type] ..Buzzy
Julie Maloney Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 7:56 am
You did it right. This is a horribly messy situation that will get worse before it gets better but I know me, we’ll get back together eventually but this time it’s on my terms.
Step one, calmly confront said family member. Step two, forgive family member. Followed by step three, not contacting said family member until they apologize for being a giant douche bag.
Todd´s last [type] ..Russell Crowe is a Gluten-Free Lemming
Julie Maloney Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 7:55 am
I did one and three.
Julie- every family has that crap. It gets worse when someone dies and there is an estate to settle.
We just can’t choose our family members can we?
I wish I knew you had this linky up. D’OH!
Have a great rest of your weekend!
Harriet´s last [type] ..White Wedding…
Nothing last forever, with time, we leave those ideas and those ideas will leave us
Erin´s last [type] ..My Best Golf Swing Guide
Yeesh. That’s a different story then…
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Meal Planning With An Empty Refrigerator – WW