Vomit, Liscense Plates and Terrorism With A French Fry
See that plate? I was driving behind that today in the pouring rain with my children in my car. The driver had a big ‘ol pickup and plenty of tools in the back of it that lead me to believe he had every intention of following through with that message.
That was just today. About an hour ago. Needless to say, I’m back at home and have no intention of leaving the corner of the darkest room in the house for a few days.
Some of you may know that I just returned from the EA SPORTS Active 30 Day Challenge Reunion and product launch in NYC. We did all sorts of great stuff and stayed right in times square, but it’s doubtful I’ll forget the last 2 hours of my trip.
After a night of socializing with my friends and getting felt up by Elmo, I was ready to get back to sunny SC and my life. I had an early evening flight out, so I had some time to walk around Times Square and see the sights.
After about three hours of looking for a place to eat, I found a deli that had a great looking picture of a club sandwich and fries. I mosey on into the diner to order and eat half of my meal, as I always do. My “Diet” plan involves eating whatever I want, only I eat half of it and save the rest for another time.
Holy shitballs, food in NYC is expensive. That meal came to nearly $50 with tip! Fries, Bread, Turkey and Bacon cost more than my shoes. It was good, but it wasn’t THAT good.
Oh, well. From what I hear, such is life in NYC. I remember eating a $50 bowl of mac and chee at the Waverly Inn before so I just sucked it up and dealt with it.
Any who, I ate my food and headed on over to meet my town car to get to the airport. I tried to tell him I like to either drive myself or ride shotgun, but he insisted I sit in the back. Not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this to any of you, but I have some issues with motion sickness. It also didn’t help that he drove like he was a stunt driver in an action flick, because about a half an hour into my trip, I felt nauseous. Problem was, we were in a tunnel of some sort and there was no escaping the confines of the back of the car.
Oh, that poor bastard. Within seconds, I’m pulling the carton of leftovers out of the carry bag and I’m yakking explosively in the back seat of a NYC town car. To the drivers credit, he didn’t throw up too. He drove a heck of a lot faster but he was super nice to me and I managed to not get a drop of the nasty in his car.
After what seemed like about four days, we got to Newark Airport. Ah, EWR…the armpit of America. I can say that because I used to work for Continental Airlines and have actually had to sleep on the floor in that place. I check in after ditching the barf bag and head to the mother of all security checkpoints.
I fly ALL THE TIME. I’ve been through every security checkpoint in the Continental US. I get up to the walk through area and take my shoes off, pull my laptop out and put my bag up when I’m suddenly told that I have to toss my leftovers. I calmly explained to the TSA agent that there are no liquids or harmful chemicals other than the possibility of trans fats in the fries but they insisted that my meal had to go. I told them that was $25 worth of turkey in that box and asked that they give it to a homeless person or airline agent in need but into the trash it flew.
I thought the chick behind me was going to get arrested for sure. I’m smart enough to know better than to joke about terrorism with a french fry, because I remember calling the Feds for stupid shit like that after 9/11, but the lady behind me was all kinds of pissed that they made her take her belt off. She’s laughing to all within ear shot, “What? You think I’m gonna strangle the pilot with my belt? Geez, you’re makin me strip over here!”
I’m not even joking. It was out of a movie. Teased hair, red lipstick and gold studded belt. I think the agents just had remove it in the name of fashion, but they insist it was due to airline security.
So off I went, I boarded my flight and returned back to Charlotte. The rest of the trip went smoothly and I’m still busting ass to catch up on emails, newsletters and comments but I guarantee that was a trip I won’t soon forget.
Hopefully, neither will Elmo (call me!).
21 Comments
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Holy Shiz! I honestly am reeling from the $50 for a club sandwich and Fries… We just had something similar from Fridays and it was like 8.99.
I Really want to go to NYC but wow, not sure my repressed frugal mind can handle it yet!
Hey at least its a memorable trip and those calories didn’t count!
Welcome Back!!!!
I’m still trying to get over the license plate.
lol. Glad your trip worked out for you.
I really Love NYC. Sorry you had a hard time:-0. There are places to eat for way less. Next time give me heads up.I will give you a list. As For Elmo He was in Florida Too. I even have a photo of him, Driving a Car? Check it out. left the link with this post.
Airports… I haven’t been since 911. Good thing my feet where clean,LOL. I was wearing sandals a nono, I know. But it was hot and I can not take the heat! cool feet is good air conditioning for me. And I forgot to take my netbook out of my bag. Boy did I get yelled at…Oh well, I won’t forget again! Welcome Home.:-) I’m headed out your way in July,I know….Heat..oh well, I have sandals,LOL
Having lived all over, it is funny how the airports reflect the cities that they’re in. Newark is a nasty city and the airport is the same. Love your photo with Elmo. I just read that a woman is suing Check E Cheese because the mouse groped her. You may want to look into this. Maybe Elmo has deep pockets.
I know the guy is going to think twice before making someone sit in the back seat after a request for shotgun.
My Gravatar shows up on all blogs but yours now. WTF?
Julie Reply:
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:01 pm
I don’t know, I’m going to change the layout and theme of this thing in a week or two when our jobs calm down a little. We’re just SO busy and with Josh walking there’s no time to do anything but chase him around. He’s the complete opposite of Jake, he gets into and on top of EVERYTHING!
I don’t fly and refuse to! I’m scared to death of planes. Those prices are crazy! Glad you had a wonderful time. TFS
wow what an interesting trip home! Enjoy your family time now!
wow… I thought it was pretty cool today when i was behind a truck with a mower in tow that had a license plate that said “WE MO 4U”….. but yours takes the cake. I take pics of every one I see like that…. and I’m totally going to use ‘holy shitballs’ next time the moment arrises….
BassAckwards Mom Reply:
May 21st, 2009 at 9:28 pm
but… I may actually personalize it and say ‘holy shitballs batman’….
Sounds like you had a good time. The last time I went to NYC was when I was in high school. I don’t remember the food being that expensive but when I was that young I don’t think I payed as much attention to menu prices as I do now. That’s too bad that you had to toss half of your meal.
I saw your photo with Elmo. That had to be an experience.
Glad to hear you are back home. I know what it is like to play catch up after a vacation.
What a trip! I have always wanted to go to NYC. I will remember to bring a bunch of money just for food! That is outrageous and you had to throw it away. I would have fought for that turkey!
Wow. What a late. I was totally shocked by that plate to be honest.
A little getaway is good for every Mom but I am sure you were super glad to be back home.
Way to go on the EA Sports Active. You totally rocked the house on it and I can’t wait until the radio show tomorrow and hear even more about it.
Great story – one you definitely won’t forget anytime soon!
I am glad you’re back! Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I think I’d kill for some mac and cheese…no matter what the cost. I’d love to have some carbs. *sigh*
Welcome back! I too get very car sick…luckily it is mainly nausea.
HOLY Crap on that price of that sandwich and fries. It really is expensive to eat there huh? Glad you made it back safely and so sorry about the crazy driver that was speeding. I tend to get motion sick a lot too.
Oh, my gosh, Julie! You are too funny! Only you would get felt up by Elmo!
Oh my that motion sickness SUCKS!!! I have to drive everywhere or else it’s a “bag of nastiness” from me too. Glad to see you’re back and alive (after that license plate – WOW!)