Random Tuesday Thoughts _ Stealing From Daddy | Momspective

Nov
09
2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts _ Stealing From Daddy

randomtuesday

I’m currently out of town so if you’re not seeing me on your blogs commenting, it’s because my head is spinning and I’m probably not even going to turn my computer on.  I’ll be facebooking and tweeting from my cell phone and for some reason, Twitter only shows @ replies from certain people at random times so if I don’t tweet back, I’m not ignoring you.  I will however, get all comments on my Facebook pages.

Because I am extremely overwhelmed and my brain is incapable of thinking, I’ve decided to rip my father off and just list my favorite Facebook updates he publishes.  He is by far the most random, hilarious person I have ever encountered, and you’ll see where my sense of humor comes from.  Looking for more random?  Hot up Keely’s linky over at The Un Mom.  You won’t regret it.

Here it goes-

I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.

How many roads must a man walk down before he realizes there’s a sidewalk?

The recession is over and people are celebrating in the streets…. Oh, I’m sorry, those are unemployment lines.

Nervous among strangers? Shout “I’M NORMAL!” as loud as you can every few minutes to set everyone at ease.

When life hands you lemons, be all like “WTF, life!? I can’t pay my bills with fruit!” and wait patiently until life hands you dollars.

Once I was very nauseated but unable to throw up. I was diagnosed with projectile dysfunction.

Says in a recent study, researchers found coffee to be a poor nighttime beverage choice. Participants complained they “couldn’t fucking sleep.”

On Halloween I’m giving out lemons to see if any kids make lemonade. Kids love life lessons even better than candy, right?

Each Halloween instead of candy I like to give neighborhood kids a scare. This year I’ll be discussing the national debt & the impact it will have on their generation.

What’s it called when you stake a vampire at sunrise? Morning wood. Hey-ooo!

I wanted to dress as a turn signal for Halloween, but nobody around here knows what the hell that is.

Isn’t halloween a little like home delivery for pedophiles?

I could go on, AND ON, but I have to stop.  I can’t stop laughing and I might vomit.  I love you, Daddy.  Without you, I couldn’t possibly be this twisted.


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Written by Julie in: Random Tuesday Thoughts

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