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Let’s move on to the second trimester of your pregnancy.  Well, mine anyway.  Ahh….the blissful second trimester.  It’s exactly where you want to be.  The vomiting has stopped (for me, anyway), I have an abundance of energy and my hair looked amazing. I’m talking great.  It grew long super fast and I decided to dye it brown when I got pregnant (again, I was at like 4 weeks and made sure it was okay) and it was just such a joy to have.

I was petrified of medications.  I had a lot of migraines and pains throughout the entire pregnancy and was convinced that even a single Tylenol would cause a miscarriage and I’d never have the chance to bear another child again.  I did everything I Googled.  Raised legs, homeopathic remedies, tears (Google didn’t say that, but I just added it with this post) – nothing worked.

The second trimester, though, the nesting began.  Like a tiny little bird, I started with one room and then went balls out.

I also developed a strange addiction to the History Channel, so I can answer random facts about almost every president (I’ve known them all in order since I was 10 anyway) and am quite knowledgeable about every event that occurred from November to April of every year.

First came my bedroom.  I went through all the drawers in the night stand, organized clothes according to size and color in the closet and scrubbed all the baseboards.

Actually, I scrubbed ALL the baseboards.  My entire home.  It was a 1500 square foot house and I got down on my knees (second trimester, I was barely showing so it was still possible) and I took a TOOTHBRUSH for accuracy and scrubbed every inch of my entire home.

Since I refused to use chemicals, I bought a scunci steamer.  That’s right, Jenna.  I’m talking to you.  I’m well known for being an informercial whore (words getting out, too – they’re contacting me for reviews) and one night I saw one for the Scunci Steamer, the most glorious steamer/cleaner thingy ever created.

I bought three of them.  Possibly four to give as gifts.  It comes with a long hose and scrubbing attachment but I wanted to make sure I got every crack so I used the steam as my cleaning agent and I got to work.

Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, dining room, two entry ways and a kitchen.  I don’t even know how long it took but I enjoyed every second of it.  When I was done with my baseboards, I took my steamer and toothbrush and got to work on the appliances (including the bottom of the fridge, thank you very much JENNA) and then I started on the floors.

I took my steamer and toothbrush and scrubbed and I wiped up the excess water/dirt with a towel.  My mother came to visit me after my frenzy and it was the very first time she came to my home.  The second she walked in she said she was afraid to touch anything because she felt like she was in a sterilized hospital.

I was hoping to get that feeling back with my second but no.  Nope.  Didn’t happen.  Damn shame, too, but that’s another story.

So ladies, if you’re knocked up and stuck in the misery that is the first trimester, remember you have something to look forward to.  It may be the fact that you have energy for the first time in weeks, or that you’ve started nesting like a mama bird (how weird is that, anyway?  We NEST.) but you can do this.  Shit, I did it.

It’s the third trimester you should be afraid of.

I’d like to note to all of you wonderful readers that I am absolutely NOT pregnant nor will I ever be again.  This is simply a flashback series.  For those of you who’ve been reading these pregnancy posts and congratulating me, thanks a bunch, it made me giggle.