RTT- They Can Try To Kill Me, But They Can’t Kill My Sense Of Humor
My veins have decided to play “fuck the needle” and make finding a vein impossible to IV me. I’ve had 3 IV’s and no shit, about 10 needle pokes to both arms. They finally had to pull in the big guns over at anesthesia into my room. I told them to make a race of it and see who can tread a vein first and they each took an arm.
Then I said, “Why don’t you guys knock me out and poke me, that’s what I told my husband to do on our first date and it worked for him.”
Sha-zam!
Let me tell you what, someone, somewhere is paying my house off for me. How do I go in for a one night stay hysterectomy and end up near death with pneumonia with blood transfusions?
Thank you, Twitter. I started tweeting before the operation started and tweeted through the neglect and tweeted when I was conscious. Thanks to all my friends, who emailed, IM’d, Facebooked and Tweeted right back to me. I plan on generating a giant thank you post and thank you all that way soon. Right now, I’m 2 finger typing because I have a heart monitor on one hand and an IV in another.
Jenn, next time I see you I’m making out with you. With tongue. Just saying.
I got up out of bed and smelled something awful, then realized it was me. My husband came with a goodie bag of toiletries for me but forgot a few very important staples-underwear, deodorant and a razor.
Holy matrimony, even with a sponge bath, I smell. I am that smell you smell when you walk into a hospital, so go easy on them next time you’re in there because you never know when it’s going to be you.
I smell so bad, I could give the lesbian hippie college girls a desire to spray febreeze. My pee smells like my grandmother’s kitchen.
It’s quite something when the highlight of your week is pooping. When you start calling your friends and high-fiving your husband because you managed to squeeze a nugget out, you can pretty much chalk that up to a bad week.
I’ll be getting out of here soon and will be ready to party like a rock star at Blogher. I’ll be there with the Wii Mommies and EA SPORTS Active and details for our party will be revealed soon. Ladies, if I’m hosting it, you know it’ll be good. I’m just sayin’.
If you think you’d like an invite to this Friday night soiree, you just drop me a line and let me know and I’ll see what I can do to get you on the list. Yeah. I’m that cool.
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Dude. If you’re going molest me the next time I see you… you better get yo’self a shower and some shave first… *I’M* just sayin’… LOL!
I love ya! I’m glad you are home! I’m glad you eeked out a RTT…with flair, no less.
Giant, sloppy kisses.
You didn’t get to mention that soiree at BlogHer…at the House of Blues…Duuuuude.
Jenn @ The Coupon Coup´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Television Personalities
You poor thing. But you made me laugh, LOL Feel better and hope you stop stinking up the joint!!
jk I am glad to hear you are doing well.
Carolyn G´s last blog ..The Doctor is In!
YEAH! You’re alive! Albeit, barely from what it sounds like…
Definitely..poop is the secret ticket out of the hospital. We nurses keep that a secret
Yeah, I didn’t think the bastards would get you down for long! You carry off the “wired for IV” look and smell with panache.
I totally wish I was going to BlogHer now. I’m a cowardly idiot for not planning it 6 months ago.
Keely´s last blog ..Woo-hoo! Wholesale bongs! …Random Tuesday Thoughts
I’m SO glad you’re doing better and are just as feisty as ever…stink and all I love ya!
Oh how I wish I were able to go to BlogHer so I could party like a rock star with you! 
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts – Heat, Massages, Tattoo’s and Fun
OMG!!!! If you have any $$ left after they pay off your house, I wouldn’t mind a little of cash flow!!!! That is awful. I hope the worst is over for you and they have given you rockin’ pain drugs!!!! you deserve it!!!
)
Proud Mommy´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts
I’ve survived three abdominal surgeries, and I thought the worst part was trying to pass gas. I had severe gas pain in my shoulders…I hope you didn’t have to go through that, since you are suffering enough! I hope you feel much better really soon, and are able to go home!
Ginny Marie´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Weirdness
Hope you get to feeling better soon! I have an award for you at my blog. http://inside-my-head.com/index.php/blog-memes/1391/random-tuesday-rain-peckers-laziness-and-awards
Leigh´s last blog ..Random Tuesday – Rain, Peckers, Laziness and Awards
Good luck! I hope you are feeling better soon. Take care of yourself and I hope they set you free soon.
Anne´s last blog ..The Mosquitoes are Plotting My Demise
It’s great to hear from you here Julie! I hope you feel better soon… and get a date with the shower as well : )
~A Lil Enchanted~
A Lil Enchanted´s last blog ..Music Monday – Rhiannon by Stevie Nicks
I told you that Pooing would be the highlight of your “stay”. As for the stench? yeah that’s the ick oozing from all over and the healing. I had that happen in March! I walked into the ER cause I was leaing “stuff” and my bandage? OMG! that smell, I can smell it now! so I’ve been there, and I only had hernia done!
I’m continuing to pray for your sense of humour! but hey think of the $ you are saving on “supplies”
Kyooty´s last blog ..Random Tuesday and talk of teeth returns for a bit
Hi There Julie,
So glad to see your words.. I am sorry , but you make me laugh even when you are feeling bad.
{hugsssss}
MommaYoung´s last blog ..One Lovely Blog Award
DAMN RIGHT someone’s paying for your house!!! I’ll be so glad when this nightmare is over for you, and we can hang out at BlogHer. Til then, stay strong and be ready to kick some serious hospital ass!
Love you! <3
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting´s last blog ..To Do Tuesday Week 21
You’re probably the only person I know that would still have a sense of humor after all you’ve been through this week! I hope you get well and feel better soon….
Girl it so good to see your sense of humor thorugh all this! Get to feeling better so you can party like a rockstar!! Oh but shower first so you don’t scare all of us away!! LOL J/K
I’m so glad you are home! You had me so worried! Thanks to Jenn for letting us know what was going on… You better get your house paid off!! If not by the hospital then by the MJ estate for dying on the same day you had surgery and causing all this ruckus while you needed attention!! I’m just sayin’!! I can’t wait to see you in a month… yes.. you will be ready to party!!! Loves ya girl!
Monica@MommyBrainReports´s last blog ..Review: Dyson DC 25 Animal
i’m glad to hear that you are starting to recover and home. hospital stays suck no matter what they are for, but it sounds like you have had a nightmare. one thing you can look forward to is NO MORE BLEEDING…whoo hoo! i have never missed that and it’s been almost 20 years now. they can take your uterus but they can’t take your sense of humor. still sending you healing energies.
PJ´s last blog ..New Layout!
I found your site through a magazine article and I read your blog regularly. I so appreciate the humor (even the poop humor) you put out there. Hope you feel better & are back with your family.
I hope you get better and I’m glad you still have your sense of humor.
Felicia – I Complete Me´s last blog ..Overwhelmed Mothers
Oh honey…I’ve missed all your tweets!
I told myself to DM you at least 10 times a day the past 2 days, but I was lucky I got the kids fed and off to their activities on time.
Sorry to hear about all the complications. I don’t think you smell as badly as you think you do. At least your humor is daisy fresh even if your armpits aren’t!
Good pooping…keep it up!
xoxoxox
TeresaR´s last blog ..The passing…of a chicken and of the week
Ba dum bum ching!
LOL
xxxoooxxx
Dr. B.´s last blog ..RUTH MADOFF: ‘THIS IS NOT THE MAN I OWNED NINE HOMES WITH’
I am so glad you are home and they didnt take your sense of humor! Go get some rest so you can geta lot better!
colleen´s last blog ..Try this Tuesday…OTPlan
YEA!! Julie’s back! What a crazy week for you. Hope the shower is as good as to poo:)
Sherri @ Luv a Bargain´s last blog ..Free Nakano Rice Vinegar
boy, remind me the next time i complain about an IBS attack that it could be way worse.
you’ve just been invaded nine ways to sunday, but yet your sense of humour and positive is still there.
let’s have a big ol’ what the f*ck?!
good for you.
andy:)
p.s. i think you may just be my next hero. get well soon:)
andy´s last blog ..i think god loves vampires ’cause they help cull mankind…so it’s like vampires are god’s minions and he thanks them by giving them eternal life.
Hope you feel better soon. Should I send fabreeze?
Kat´s last blog ..RTT- I Believe That My Brains Are Scrambled
I hope you brush your teeth before you make out with Jenn.
I haven’t had a shower since Friday so I feel your pain a little – but the hospital smell just makes it even more disgusting!
Glad to see they didn’t take away your sense of humor when they tried to kill you there!
Storm´s last blog ..Random Thoughts Tuesday