That’s right!  You’re reading this, I’m pants-less.

RAWR.

So how did batman kill the joker?

With a handful of sleeping pills.

I didn’t even realize it was a terrible Heath Ledger joke until someone told me, I just thought it was funny.

I was then told a bunch of SUPER offensive jokes that I can’t say on here.

Let’s list my phobias!

• Sunflowers
• Escalators
• ET
• Frogs
• Willy Wonka and that Fucking Chocolate Factory
• The Wizard of Oz
• Door handles
• Everything in every bathroom
• Watching someone brush their teeth
• Crack heads
• Wax museums

I know there are more but I can’t think of any.  A lot of movies mostly.  Movies give me nightmares.

Don’t ever lie to me.  Ever.  I will find out and the relationship will be terminated.

I was with some friends the other day and we all decided to go around the circle and act like each other.  Turns out I’m known best for loving stalker vans, being awesome and peeing.

I’m okay with that.

I need to remember to wear black when I work out or I need some sort of anti-boob sweat bra.

I also need to not eat pie before I work out.

Not one day goes by without at least one person telling me how awesome my hair is.

I need to pay my bills after I write this.

I should probably shower, I have to pee.

I’m living the dream, I’m just not sure who’s dream it is.

I want to lose seven pounds in the next month.  I bet I can do it.  Splenda is my friend.

I wonder how I can blast out 1000 word posts one day, forcing myself to stop writing but other days I can’t get to 300 without my brain malfunctioning.

So I went to eat with some friends the other day at a Japanese restaurant and when the woman came to ask how the meal was one gal accidentally said it was “dee-rish-ous” and instead of pretending she didn’t say it she thought it better to just roll with it and follow it with a “Absorutely dee-rish-ous”.

So glad she didn’t say that before the meal came out.

I’m very glad I got the Droid 3.  Even though it takes about 15 minutes for me to start a new text or email because I somehow have about 1700+ contacts, the pull out keyboard is perfect for me because when I get manic my touch screen auto-correct freaks out on me.

I hate cheese on everything but pizza, nachos and grilled cheese.

I have a lot of anger and resentment combined with relief and gratitude all balled up into one.

Thanks for letting me share (I love saying that, it’s the perfect closer).

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