I’m pretty sure this happens to most bloggers around this time of year but I am getting so damn sick of blogging.  I love writing but I tend to do it five days a week, I need to think of new material and I’m hearing about how everything I write is passed on to other people who assume they know who and what I’m talking about when they don’t because I dont’ give names, I just give general statements and let imaginations run.

I can’t really give specifics on my personal life because A) I don’t have permish to talk about these people and B) It’s a fucking disaster.

I want to put all of Timothy Olyphant’s parts in my mouth.  Justified is the coolest show ever.  I’m re-watching season one and I’m obsessed (again).

There’s a vicious rumor going around that there are now Blanket Pets, the cousin to my beloved Pillow Pets.  If this is the case, I expect a Monkey to arrive at my door on Christmas Eve.

Speaking of which, I’m going to be completely alone that day.  I have every Saturday off and Ry takes the kids to see his side of the family that day so I’m going to be all by my lonesome.  I plan on going to AA at ten that night and at one in the morning there is a convention one of my pals is speaking at so I’ll be plenty busy from that night onward but I’m spending the day by myself.  I’m hoping the plans I made for Friday night actually follow through and I just end up sleeping all of Saturday away.  It’s just another day.

I bought four Pillow Pets total already for my kids  Mickey Mouse, Mader, SpongeBob and Sir Purr (Carolina Panthers).  I’m also getting them Rock Band 3.  I think I’m going to order it right now since I have to get it there by Saturday.  I need to be a better planner.  It still feels like Christmas is a month away.

I am the worst dancer ever.  I’m used to going to sing karaoke, that’s easy.  I get up on the stage and everyone (hopefully) looks at me as I (hopefully) belt out a rockin’ tune.  When we go dancing on Saturdays (my newest thing) I feel like a tool because Courtney is so graceful and stunning and is an actual professionally trained dancer and I’m so uncoordinated I was hit directly in the face with a basketball that was being thrown my way once in a failed attempt to catch it.

I had a girl come up to me Saturday and sloppily say “Let’s do a shot”.  No, I don’t drink.  “Come on.  Let’s do a shot”.  DUDE.  No.  I don’t drink.  Alcohol does not go into my body.  It was my 100th day sober, I was not going to blow it on this little girl.  “She won’t do a shot with me.  She ruined my plans to make friends with her.  I can’t be her friend.” was how that carried out.

I guess I lost out on a real charmer there.

I saw a woman drink red wine with a straw tonight.  She specifically asked for it.  She also asked me for my personal recommendation and when I told her I don’t drink wine but advised on the most popular one she said “Okay y’all let’s get me that and bring me a straw” but she said it in a real redneck way so say it like that when you read it. She also wanted to know the difference between red and white wines.  I told her the color.

I Facebooked this but I think it’s hilarious- If you want everyone in the bar to like you warn them of a potential police checkpoint down the road. They’ll love you for it. Personally I love checkpoints, I like to tell them how sober I am.  I totally do.  I’m like “I’m in AA bitches!  That’s what’s UP!  DD in the house!”

I don’t really do that.  It’s like they pack up the checkpoint just as it’s my turn.

Okay, I’m going to finish watching “The Help”.  It’s awesome so far and I remember my dad saying I should watch it.  This is long enough.  Peace out homies!

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