So I want everyone to know I’m absolutely a plane professional.  I just posted about it yesterday so you can scroll down to read about flying with your kids (I’m super proud of that post) and I also just did it.  Today’s random Tuesday has continuity because it’s about my recent flights to and from Santa Barbara to the EA SPORTS Active retreat but it was the MOST RANDOM SET OF FLIGHTS EVER.

I’d first like to say don’t ever watch Grey’s Anatomy while in flight if you have any desire to keep the makeup on your face and not look like a tool in front of the crew.  Being that I was flying solo, I got to enjoy the perks of airline travel and watch DVD’s on my laptop and I chose that.  WTF was I thinking?

Secondly, and I’m going to spend some time on this one, I made friends-sort of.  The flight out was with a guy missing the middle finger on both hands (more on that in a minute).  The flight back was a kick ass duy who watched TV with me and told funny stories.  He also had all his fingers.

I’m calling plane guy number one Billy because he sounded like the guy from Sling Blade .  He came in smelling like Liquor and Farm and looked like he just milked a goat.

The guy on the aisle was good about periodically checking in with me to make sure I was okay, but I loved Billy.  I couldn’t understand half of what he said, but I made it a point to smile and laugh and hope it was the appropriate response.  He drank Jack straight from the airline bottles he bought and told me various stories of car accidents, DWI’s and losing his middle fingers in a bar fight for being offensive.  He then told me his grandmother likes to flip him the “double bird” because he can no longer flip it back.

Plane ride return guy was kick arse.  Coming from San Fran and flying about 20 hours and 4 planes to get to Florida to work for one day, he was totally unprepared for the flight and didn’t have any games or reading material and his laptop battery died.   I gave some unsolicited plane advice and he said he had all of a few hours to prep to leave so I split my Chic Buds ear buds with him and we listened to my laptop in style.

To close, I’d like to say the Four Seasons bathroom shower is the best I’ve ever peed in.  Join Keely and our friends over at The Un Mom for more Random Tuesday Thoughts!