I’m so random, I’m writing this on Friday.
Narcotics suck. I love them, but I can’t take them. You’d think I’d be able to be the life of that party, but nooooooo….they have to make me all rashy and unable to breathe. Thanks, vicodin. WTF am I supposed to do when I get parts taken out Thursday, huh? Tell me THAT.
I can’t see a naked baby without getting the song “Born Free” stuck in my head.
Okay, so get this. I don’t even know how to tell this story, because it’s so ridiculous.
I’m doing laundry the other day (it’s a new thing I’ve just gotten into, I’d rather just buy new clothes) and I walked into my bathroom. Inside it, I find my husband with a foot up, clipping his toenails. My children are at the toilet bowl. One of them is peeing in it while the other one is PLAYING IN IT.
Yep. Jake is four and pees standing up. Josh is one and currently obsessed with toilets. Ryan was engrossed in his man-pedi, and Josh is lightening fast so I think it was pretty much out of Ryan’s control. I walked in, dropped the laundry basket and screamed “NO!” and Jacob says, “What? I”m peeing.”
Random fact – Your index finger matches your nostril perfectly. Ryan and I have been running a case study for about 14 minutes and decided that the index finger was initially attached inside the nostril and as humans evolved, stayed there.
Jacob refuses to flush his poo. He lets it marinate for HOURS. I’m afraid of his bathroom.
“The difference between the wrath of god and the wrath of your mother is that eventually, God forgives you” -Rhonda Pollero
My shrink’s office smells like dead flies in a light fixture.
Bend over and slap your ass with some random, then head over to The Un Mom to link up!