Go Random. Go To The Un Mom. Right Now. Well, Read This First. Then click this. She's hawt.

I wish I could lick her face.

Sex, drugs, rock n’ roll.

Drink a keg, smoke a bowl.

Sex is good, keeps us alive,

Cause we’re the class of ’95!

That was my high school class song.  I made it up by hearing something similar and changing it to those words.  I think maybe 10 people caught on.  In retrospect, sex does not necessarily keep us alive.  We didn’t know about the nasty shit back then though.

So my friend Matt made a cool boner on facebook -

8======D

Badass, right?

It took a minute to get it but I know Matt well and it was all started by what will be a screen shot from THIS UPDATE on Facebook (think you have to be my friend but if you’re not A) you suck and B) I’ll have the screen shot up tomorrow as my Wordless Wednesday).

I got a BlackBerry Curve but it’s purple so I’m confused.  Does that make it a PurpleBerry? Is my Berry confused?

Heh.  Boner.

I wish I could elaborate but unless you’re my friend on Facebook, you just will have to wait to see the screen shot that has got me talking about sex all day on there.  Causing quite a tizzy.  I’m also talking about chocolate.

Why did I just say tizzy?  What the fuck does that mean?

Which do you prefer?  Sex or chocolate?  How about both?  That’d be interesting.  Because family reads this I will not talk about any of that.

Except this one time in Alaska. SHIT.

I’m working on this book (by working I mean I started it, got a pretty good amount into it, lost everything on my hard drive and fully intend to start it again) and it’s based solely off this guy in Alaska.  I’m tweaking it to make it funny and adding other bits but it’s going to be a Dave Barry meets Danielle Steele (only they’re not actually meeting, they’re mind fucking and writing about it).

I’m high as hell.

Read my post from yesterday.  That fucking Frog might have almost killed me but for some reason the meds they gave me (prednisone) combined with the ones I already take (insanity and lady part replacement pills) and my Xanex (fun) and the Motrin for the pain are causing me to have one giant buzz.  All I want to do is eat chocolate. Instead, I’m going to get on my Wii and work out.

I have been the absolute shittiest Wii Mommy.  Seriously. Fuck.  I don’t know how else to help everyone.  I do giveaways (I have one now go to http://www.WiiMommies.com and enter it’s for a bunch of cool shit from Subway).

I don’t know how else to help people lose weight.  Just eat less and work out and ask for help.  I have the site there to ask for help and I try but I don’t want to reward people because A) I am so fucking busy with this site and my review site (giveaway there so go get shit) I don’t think I could pull the crazy shit my friends do and B) to me, the weight loss is the prize but that’s only because I like being told I’m hot.

Oh shit, I bought fake hair, had it dyed to match and cut.  I can wash and style it.  It clips in.  Like 20 clips.  I can curl it.  It’s real hair.  I feel like I should give it to locks of love but it was expensive as hell -

My mom doesn’t like it.

Here’s my thing – I have no patience. I get bored with myself.  I always change hair color but I’m meant to be this color so I had to find another way.  So in real life I look like this -

Those two pictures were taken last week.

Two Julies! I can make three or four even! Medium length, long, curly or straight.  I even put it in a ponytail and all other cute ways like half up and shit.  I’m awesome. I bet I get a zillion comments and everyone will like one or the other.  No one can pick just one Julie.

I’m bored.

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