Mar
22
2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts – Yeah. I stole From My Kid

Go Random. Go To The Un Mom. Right Now. Well, Read This First.

Yes.   I did it.  I’m not exactly proud but I’m not ashamed.  My kid came home with half a Happy Meal.  It was cold.  He was clearly full.  He decided to watch TV with his little brother upstairs.  I housed some nuggets and fries.

I have some from earlier in the week I’m going to throw in there.  Oh, yeah.

They are SO loud.  Loud enough for me to know what they’re saying but far enough away to not annoy me.

So I wrote the finale about my operation debacle yesterday and my favorite part of the whole thing was how every single person who commented swore.  It made me feel special.

I don’t smoke unless I drink and I don’t drink.

My two year old is obsessed with the Wiggles but the DVD player in the playroom is out of order so after two days of him saying “My show” over and over, I put the DVD in the only other player in the house.  The movie theater.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN…

A while later the FedEx guy comes knocking at my door.  I see him pretty much every day and my dog likes to act big and tough like I’ve mentioned before and he was in the theater so I  locked him in there because I think he’s an annoying douchebag when he barks and what if it wasn’t my guy at the door?

I ran downstairs and opened the door to find my favorite guy with a box in his hands.  That box was from HP.  It was my laptop.  I can’t remember the last time something felt that good (no offense).   I grabbed that box and held it close as I signed the little electronic thing and thanked him profusely for providing me with my lifeline to society (I don’t get out much).

Ripping the box open, I stared in awe at this computer.  It almost looked brand new to me except I saw baby crumbs.  I hit the power button.  She turned on.

She was unrecognizable.  Because my two year old  destroyed my entire hard drive and motherboard, I was left as barren as my reproductive organs.

So I basically had an orgasm and licked the fedex guy’s face for nothing.

At least he gave me a treat to give the dog so thats something.  Hardly a computer orgasm.

I don’t know when the last backup was done on this so once it’s restored I’ll have to see what I need to install and screw around with.  I want my friggin laptop SO BAD.  I miss my files.  I’ll be back in action tonight and I’m going to pound out some reviews, make sure I wrote the entire month so you don’t have to suffer without me as I recover (plus if I’m well enough I can comment and social network like a sonofabitch.

I think my four year old just told me he was going to buy me a really big bong when he gets into kindergarten.  THAT one did not come from this house, he just got home from school.

I wanted so badly to tell him to hold off until college.  It’s like Chef said, “Children, there’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”

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Written by Julie Maloney in: Uncategorized

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