I have NO idea where that title idea came from.

Check out this picture of me and my friend Elaina.  We went out the other night and I apparently look kick ass in yellow and she wore a “How Many Licks Does It Take” vintage Tootsie Roll tee.  I also got this kick-ass lip gloss from my mother that makes me look tan.

Holy crap.  Adorable, right?

So my radio show is on tonight.  It’s at 9PM EST and you can find it HERE and do me a favor.  Register on the website so you can be in my chat room.  I can’t have any fun without the chat room banter.  It makes me feel like a hoser.  People are saying they’re trying but the website hosting the show won’t allow it so I have been instructed to tell all of you to email support@blogtalkradio.com and they’ll help you out.  I really want to get this drinking game established and I just can’t do it without everyone in there.

A drinking game?  Yep.  Suggested by a Facebook friend, Andrew, we’ve decided to try out the “Momspective drinking game”.  Doesn’t have to be alcohol, you can drink to your beverage of choice.  Mine is alcohol and I’m backing off of beer because I feel like it’s hitting my belly area so I’m going to have to switch to vodka.  Thank goodness the show now starts at nine and is only 45 minutes long because depending on the rules we set, this gal might get hammered.

Pause for dancing.  Jimmy Eat World created a song just for me.  It’s called Bleed American and I have to pause to jump around every time it comes on.  I just decided I’m in a good mood today so I’m putting it on repeat and plan on dancing quite a bit today.

Okay.  Back to the show.  I’d like you to register RIGHT NOW and see if you can pop into any other chat rooms.  If you can’t get in any at all, let their support know but if you can and it’s my station only, I want to know and I’d like you to tell them as well.  The sooner the better, since it airs Thursdays at nine. Today also happens to be Thursday, so you’ve only got until 9PM EST to get it done.

There’s been talk of everyone doing a shot when I say “Awesome”.  I’m thinking of using one of the smileys available in the chat room.  I figure we can have a designated drink smiley and whenever I say or do something laid out in the rules, a listener in the chat room can pop up the designated smiley face and we all have to take a shot of whatever we’re drinking (I have pregnant ladies listening).  I just can’t get it going unless I have a full house and me just rambling along for 45 minutes can’t be THAT interesting.  I get distracted easily.

Pause for another dance.  I need to shimmy for this one…

Okay, sweet.  That felt better. I’m so pissed off at my body.  Seriously.  I know and love this new thin me I’ve worked hard to be but shit, I did NOT ask the Wii to remove my ass.  I’m okay with the boob shrinkage because I can go without wearing a bra as long as I cover the high-beams.  They’ve been permanently pokey since my reduction.

I’m pissed that I’m covered in scars from my various falls and operations and I’m REALLY pissed about the fucking cellulite.  I know there are creams out there but they’re really fucking expensive and I have a short attention span so I’ll think about using the really expensive cream I bought LAST YEAR and will forget all about putting it on, henceforth causing me to use it like once in a blue moon (sidebar – WTF is a blue moon?) without getting any results.

I did a bit of research and it turns out that if I focus on lower body workouts that I hate (lunches and squats), I could not only get a bump in my booty (that sounds awkward) but it’s rumored to help with the cottage cheese.  I’ve been doing Wii Fit yoga to maintain my new svelte (awesome word) figure but since I’m pissed at my ass and thighs and just recently saw that beer is punishing my belly paunch, I’m making some adjustments.

Like I stated above, I’m giving up beer.  I have no issues with doing a shot of vodka during my show since my kids are sleeping and I can sleep in on Fridays or on ladies night with my gals and alternating it with a shit-ton of water, because it’s low cal and I also love water.  I’ve also decided to hit my Wii Fit up for some 20 minute sessions of  hula hooping and boxing.  I’ll still blast out some yoga bursts but I want to add a solid workout to my day again.

For my thighs and ass, I’m going to send some EA SPORTS Active my way.  I love that I can set up a custom workout and I’m going to create a twenty minute one to focus on that.  I’m going to have to take it easy though, my knees are super tiny and can hurt like hell after too many lunges.  I may be thin, but I’m not perfect.  I’ll never be perfect but I can sure as shit try my best!

Okay, enough banter.  I’m going swimming.

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