I’m a rock star and someone saw this picture and asked if the little line above my jeans was bush (friggin’ perv).  No, it’s my C-section scar.  Dur.  I don’t have a story to write because I just spent nine hours busting ass making a TON of money, raising good cash for the St. Jude Charity drive we have going and getting people hammered.  I love getting people hammered.  I’m SO GOOD at it.  I have no desire to drink.  I get people to drink, I flirt and I get money.  It’s like being a hooker without having to screw anyone.

Anyway, it’s time to get to know me by answering a few random questions I pulled up from somewhere.  Let’s see what I’m made of -

Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best?

1. Yep.  I was raped and it sucked but I am a stronger, smarter woman because of it.  I don’t know if I could say it turned out for the best but as far as something bad happening to be that ended up having a positive change in my life overall, that’d have to be the most significant.  I’ve grown tremendously and while I have a lot of sexual insecurities my story and strength I’ve pulled from the event has helped dozens of other women change from being victims to survivors.
2. What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to?Hosted at my ex-boyfriend’s house by myself and others.  It was massive.  Every section of the house has something to suit everyone.  One room had rap, one metal, one rock and there was tons of beer and drugs and shit.  I was 18.  I might tell the story next week.  It was a good party.
3. What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up?Holy hell I have no idea.
4. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?Leave my husband.
5. What was the last experience that made you a stronger person?Leaving my husband, getting a job, taking care of myself, my kids, my responsibilities and my sobriety.
6. What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?I never got caught.
7. When was the last time you had an amazing meal?A few months ago I had an orgasm at The Cowfish grill when I bit into a burger that made me shiver with delight.
8. What’s the best/worst gift you’ve ever given/received?Best gift given was a pillow pet last Christmas Eve Eve and the worse gift received was the big fat amount of nothing I hadn’t been expected to get.  Best gift I ever gave was head and I don’t give shitty gifts, it’s a specialty of mine.
9. What do you miss most about being a kid?Doing whatever I wanted without fear of consequence.
10. What is your first memory of being really excited?When I was about four and I discovered I can get a really funny feeling “down there” if I move a certain way during naptime.
11. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?Most likely at bag of weed if it was from my first job.
12. When was the last time you were nervous?I’m a bipolar insomniac with an anxiety disorder.  It happens daily.
13. What is something you learned in the last week?I’m really fucking good at everything I do if I put my mind to it, I’m hot, I’m worth it and I’m not going to let anyone make me feel otherwise.
14. What story does your family always tell about you?Most likely now it’s about how I stopped talking to my mother.
15. At what age did you become an adult?I’ll let you know when I find out.

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