Aug
12
2009

I Am Iron (She) Man!

canopy

This is the canopy I own.  I got it at a very reasonable price and love it.  It expands and can fold up real small without having to take the top off it and usually goes up and down in about five minutes.

Unless you’re standing outside grilling in the sun when out of nowhere a massive wind whips in, causing said canopy to fly three feet, smashing me in the body and causing mass panic at my house.

Yep.  Just happened.  My head is pounding, but it’s a funny ass story.  So funny that I even laughed in the ten minutes I had to stand in the whipping wind holding it in place with my kids staring at me through the glass waiting for my husband to get home from work and help me take it down.

She-Ra.  Princess of Power.

Okay.  I guess I should start at the beginning.  My head is spinnig still. 

I did the “Daddy Dash” (coined by my favorite girl, Super Jenn), which means you do whatever you want to all day and about twenty minutes before your spouse comes home, you bust your ass to get the entire house cleaned, dinner cooked and children presentable so you can feel confident that you’ve accomplished something in your day.   I started up the grill, brought out the marinated chicken, got the rice going and got the rolls out of the oven (oh yeah).

I also picked up every toy and threw them all into a pile in the toy room.  Laundry, too.  I’m proud.

So the kids are in the house beating each other with two squeaky dog toys I’ll be reviewing soon and I head outside to check the chicken.  I’m in my bikini because we were JUST out there in the kiddie pool in the sunshine when all of the sudden, BAM!

The canopy shown above, which is 10′ x 10′ (100 square feet) in size comes flying at me.  As soon as it hit me, it fell back into place.  I threw the chicken on the plate, tossed it in the house and ran back outside, rushing to get a hold of it again before the wind caught it, tossed it into Bob’s yard and shattered it (we REALLY love it).

I scream through the closed door asked my four year old to look out the window for daddy, who this ONE TIME emailed saying he’ll be late saw my 18 month old as he happily chewed on the dog’s new toy and watched his brother.  I stood outside in my bikini, arms above my head at the corner of this thing.  I had one arm on the metal above me, the other directly on the corner and I’m standing with one foot on the bottom (barefoot) and the other one about a foot behind me.  Imagine this -

Me standing in my bikini, with my arms over my head standing like this guy-

pushing

-only with my BIKINI on and my hands above my head HOLDING A 100 SQUARE FOOT CANOPY in the WHIPPING WIND.

For ten full minutes, I stood outside holding this canopy while the wind whipped it up into the air.  I alternated crying and laughing because I was thinking that while even though this sucked ass, it’s going to make a killer blog post when I get done.

Then a piece of it fell down and hit me in the head.

A metal piece of the frame came undone and just HAPPENED to  be headed in the same direction my head was located.  I got smashed in the temple with it.  My life, people.  It’s how I roll.

Any who, everything worked out because I’m writing this post.  After what felt like an eternity of the wind fighting to kick my ass with a canopy, my husband came running back and together we took it down.  Of course, the kids decided at that moment to scream because Daddy was home and not with them.

Want to know the kicker?  It never rained.  The wind beat my ass, my husband came home and the canopy came down.  We walked in and I served up dinner, which happened to be finished.  We ate, I was all jacked up from my heroic (in my mind) rescue of  our $99 canopy and I inhaled my very delicious meal and rushed to write this post.

Oh wait, it just started raining…super.

Be Sociable, Share!
Written by Julie Maloney in: Uncategorized

22 Comments

RSS feed for comments on this post | Create your avatar

Site Theme by The BuckMaker | Site Design by Amanda Meares | RSS Feed | Privacy Policy
Copyright © 2009 Momspective™ A division of Cool Mom Guide, LLC. All Rights Reserved

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. This blog does accept forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, or paid topic insertions. I will and do accept and keep free products, services, travel, event tickets, and other forms of compensation from companies and organizations. The compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this blog. I am sometimes compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though I receive compensation for some of our posts or advertisements, I always give my honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. If compensation is received for a post, it will be clearly disclosed in the post. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.