Why The Fuck Not

That picture has absolutely nothing to do with Ravioli.

I’m super skinny.  It’s weird.  In high school I was skinny.  Then I got older and life happened.  Lots of shit happened.  Random shit that allows me to keep everyone entertained for hours, because I can’t seem to shut the fuck up.  I suppose that’s why people like me.  At least when I don’t shut the fuck up I’m making people laugh.  The picture is posted because I’m very proud of myself.

I’ve gone through an assload of shit in the past year.  You were all there for it.  Maybe not.  I’ve noticed some newbies hitting my blog and for that I thank you.  I’m fucking funny.  Right now I’m like “Eh”.  I wanted to shoot darts but I ran my show and asshat and Juan Carlos played and made fun of me which I thought was funny but then my show ended and everyone went to bed so I listened to music and sang alone in my garage and played alone.

The funny thing about me (besides being funny) is that a lot of people think I suck at most everything because when I’m playing corn hole or just starting Cricket I suck.  So I suppose they’re right.  By the time I’m actually at the appropriate stage of buzz I’m actually quite good but everyone’s asleep by that time.

Here’s the thing.  There’s daytime Julie and nighttime Julie.  By day I’m all business and lately poolside by 2 or 3 so I’m happy with the pleasure – no sexual innuendo, I just like being by the pool and for the first time in my life I am actually comfortable in my body – minus the battle scars of the birth of my beautiful children, the suffering of losing the ability to have more and I fall a lot, but I’m actually proud of those because I love my children.  The rest of the scars, not so much.

Nighttime Julie is my comfort zone.  It has nothing to do with drinking.  Although I have my radio show where I really have nothing to talk about (I should have really been serious about the shit I need to promote but I have to bring out the fun in me, at fucked up as that sounds) and I get hammered because I have to drink every time I say “Awesome” (F.Y.I. -  I learned the hard way schnapps is the worst idea ever).

Nighttime Julie can be whatever I want to be.  It has nothing to do with alcohol but it does have to do with bars.  I’m known as “The water girl”. It’s funny that as soon as the bartender sees me walk through the door they have water waiting, because I just don’t care to drink when I’m out.  I’m out to sing.  I love karaoke.  I love my bar.  It’s like “Cheers” but no one remembers that show unless you’re over the age of thirty. It’s where I walk in and know everyone and can talk and sing and relax. I drink water, I sing songs I love and occasionally sing new songs that I fuck up but I sing them for me.

I like to sit down when I sing.  I don’t want to be in the spotlight unless the crowd is wild and I have to be all “Yay, Julie!”, but I’m there sitting and singing for me.  I do it to hear the applause after if I do well and I love the compliments but I do it for me.

This post has nothing to do with ravioli.  I just happened to be eating it when I decided to write it.  I’m not hammered.  I’m a bit sad but only because everyone bailed and I had to shoot darts alone but I’m so fucking glad it’s Friday.

I go to The Rose on Tuesday’s because it’s slow.  I can test new shit and I don’t care how it goes.  If I do decide to beer, I max at three and then drink water.  On Friday’s, my songs depend on my mood.  If a new song that I liked on Tuesday worked for me, I’ll try it with the huge Friday crowd but if I’m just there for me I sing for me.  I love Friday.  I love getting dressed up and I love seeing all the people I know but really don’t know.  I love my bestie Elaina. She’s a gem.

I’m so fucking glad it’s Friday.  I’m going to enjoy my day.  Savor it because I’m writing and posting this after midnight.  I’ll probably write a review so I don’t feel guilty for not writing one and I’ve been an asshole on Twitter because I’ve bailed this week.

This is a long fucking post with very little meaning.  I wrote it for me, because like singing for me sometimes, I like to write for me.  I’m so grateful for those who read me and I know I’m probably not funny but fuck it.  Tonight’s for me.

I’m going to finish now because my ravioli is getting cold.

Be Sociable, Share!

•