Random Tuesday Thoughts – I’m Funny
Go Random. Go To The Un Mom. Right Now. Well, Read This First.
I’m eating whatever the fuck I want and as much of it as possible for the next six days. I am currently in the process of making these kick ass chicken nuggets I almost don’t want to share with my children, leftover rice that tasted average but I could give a shit because I’ve got a half gallon of cookies n cream with a barrel of chocolate sprinkles ready to be dumped on the brownies coming out of the oven.
If you want to read a tragic story that I somehow tossed humor into, read the post from Monday that says it’s sad.
My dog wants so badly to bark at and hate our FedEx and UPS delivery guys but they bring him treats (they come here a lot, they’ve learned) and now my dog seems almost depressed that he can’t act all bad ass when they bring me shit.
I hate microwave beeps. I know I made something, I’m the hungry one. I’m not opening the door because I’m busy blogging or tweeting or something. Fuck off microwave.
I love chicken pot pie and Apple pie. They’re the only pies I eat. My favorite part is when I’m instructed to cut a slit in the middle. Fuck slits. I grab a knife and stab it like I’m in Psycho. It feels good. Because for thirty minutes, I get to be.
I had a pot pie today.
I was telling my 5 year old about the concept of being in public and the need to wash your hands and use hand sanitizer. I showed him how I used the paper towel from the automatic dispenser to turn the sink off because
The damn microwave just did that stupid beep. I have a hammer. Those statements have nothing to do with each other.
I had way more in here but now none of it applies since the giant fuck up my doctor made. I plan on writing it but need some time and Xanex before I can.
I love sex dreams. Anyone ever watch the Jetsons? I remember one episode where Elroy had to choose his dream for the night. Now I wish it existed. I totally know which ones I’d pick.
My kids keep insisting on being fed so peace out, home slice.
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Back To The Future http://www.momspective.com/i-am-funny/
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TheRedheadRiter Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 4:07 am
@Momspective Love that show and Doc
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Hey Julie..
I love Apple pie too..
It’s the ONLY pie I eat.. 
I hope you have a better week Julie!
Wow, I realized the whole time I was reading your post that my stomach was making angry noises, I look at the time and it’s lunch time!
.-= Ane´s last blog ..Music Monday: As We Lay by Dana Harris** =-.
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I hate microwave beeps too. I stand there the entire time my food is cooking to make sure that shit don’t beep. I also don’t like the sound windows makes when the computer is shutting down. The one from XP. I don’t mind the one from 7.
.-= Mee2´s last blog ..Music Monday ~Cry Little Sister~ G Tom Mac – My Small Tribute To Corey Haim =-.
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Julie’s Daddy’s random thoughts:
– I think I liked Jurassic Park because deep down, we all want to die in the coolest way possible and for me, that’s being eaten by dinosaurs.
– I hate it when I have to clean up after someone that just oozed charisma all over the place.
– I think a good vacation would be one where you have a fake coma for a few years and wake up on your birthday in time for cake.
– I think I’m skeptical. But I doubt it.
– Every now and then, I wish it was then instead of now.
– And, in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, what do you call an Irishman bouncing off walls? Rick O’Shay.
.-= Dr. B.´s last blog ..LIMBAUGH: "I’LL LEAVE IF HEALTH CARE REFORM PASSES." =-.
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I hate microwave our beep too. I fantasize about taking it out to a field and pulling an “Office Space” on it.
.-= Todd´s last blog ..Broccoli – Nothing cheesy going on here =-.
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Rip-off- your dogs get goodies from the delivery guys. I can’t even open my door for them. And, yes you have my permission to eat what ever the ‘f’ you want to
Happy RTT!
.-= Harriet´s last blog ..Did you know that AOL Dial-up is still in business? =-.
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I love pot pies and stab the hell out of ‘em too…but it doesn’t take me 30 minutes. What am I doing wrong?
.-= More Fun Mom´s last blog ..RTT~ Scars, Lung-age, and the High Jump =-.
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I made an apple pie for pi day (3.14) Sunday. I have plenty of apples left and should make another one since the first one went so fast.
Just be glad you don’t work at a fast food place. They have different beeps for different machines. You probably would pull up the french fries from the fry machine when in actuality the milk shake machine needs more shake mix.
Happy RTT!
.-= CaJoh´s last blog ..Letter to the Editor =-.
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I love that the UPS and FedEx dudes bring dog treats lol too cool! Happy RTT!
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Coffee please =-.
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Man I wan your FedEX and UPS men…mine just wreak of stale cigarette smoke which remind me how bad I love the taste and how glad I am I quit! I totally snarfed Pepsi when you go Psycho on the slits…I love that…so liberating and the beep makes me want to cringe…I heard it the first time…SHEESH!
.-= Karie´s last blog ..Empty Nest =-.
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Apple pie a la mode, mmmm. Chicken pot pie, meh.
I sometimes try to open the microwave door in that half second before it beeps, but after the last second has expired. It’s tricky, but I put that microwave in its place…
.-= Mrsbear´s last blog ..Cawcaw and Other Bird Sounds Also Random Tuesday Thoughts =-.
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I like pie. Mostly I like ice cream on pie and you have both. When’s pie?
.-= Michele´s last blog ..RTT – where I bitch about the government then end it on a happy note. Sort of like the evening news. =-.
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I noticed our FedEx driver brings our dogs treats too – which is cool because our dogs are dorky barking dogs.
I’m anxious to hear about how your doctor fucked up.
.-= Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts – Rain, Mud, Holy Jeans, Shamrocks and Green Milk =-.
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Oh, my dogs HATE delivery people or any people coming to our door or even near our driveway. If I utter the phrase “pizza man,” it sends my dog, Sarah, into near hysterics. I think it’s funny. Unless my daughter is sleeping.
Now I have to go read your other post from Monday.
And okay, I love RTT. I’m in.
.-= Kelly Deneen´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Potty Training and Tacos =-.
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How can you discriminate against pies?
My UPS guy is a ninja, so I have no idea if my dog likes him or not.
.-= Keely´s last blog ..I had high hopes for that internship with Martha Stewart, too =-.
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Julie Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 10:03 am
I’m jealous of your UPS Ninja. I have a bone feeding FedEx guy. That statement could be taken completely out of contest on this blog.
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