I’m not sure when you’re reading this and I don’t feel like looking up dates so just take a look at the date published and do the math.  This is part three of what had become a very long and detailed few weeks of my life.  I’ve been terrified since I wrote it (all in one night, not realizing it’s length, because of the aftermath this may bring.  You know what I did?  I took a Xanex, said “Fuck it” and started writing, as exhibited by all of these words). If you’re new to this, here’s the link to Part One.  On to the story.

I was instant messaging my husband that Thursday and suddenly my left hand went balls-out.  It was shakin’ like a Polaroid picture.  With my right, I typed “COME HOME” and I put myself on the floor.

It was mid-morning and one kid was in school and the other napping and I thank the dear Lord above for that.  I don’t know what happened to me, they’re calling it an allergic reaction.  I’m calling it terrifying.

I watched someone I love have a seizure right in my arms.  The fear I felt seeing what looked like tremendous pain and suffering tore me apart but I was strong and my head was clear and I had 911 on the phone and him to the side (by chance, I didn’t know it was the right thing to do) and I can say I have never been so scared in my entire life.  I will note that I was on this medication I’m talking about now, which I think is important to say so you’re not reading this thinking I was a drooling vegetable for 3 or 4 months (again, I forget).

Since I started to shake, I put myself on the floor to on my side.  There’s no way it was a full on seizure.  My friend doesn’t remember a thing about his and I watched it from start to finish.  I looked up seizures after whatever it was that happened to me and apparently there’s one called a “Simple Partial Seizure” diagnosed by me, via Google based on these characteristics that I posted on Facebook-

Simple partial seizures affect one’s emotions (I was crying hysterically), movement (started in my hands like it never has before), sensations and feelings and can be frightening (scared shitless). They also can’t move or speak until the seizure is over (imagine that). I am currently being treated by three doctors. …New meds are being brought to me today and I will be seen by my PHP shortly.

What I may or may not have posted (don’t feel like looking it up) with that type of seizure, is that your eyes are open and you are completely aware of what’s happening.  I knew I what was going on.  It really was just a lock-down on my body.  Like the way you’d shake if you were naked in the Arctic, only you’re not cold and you’re on your side.

That’s all it was.  Of course I was crying, I was scared shitless.  I had my wits about me but fuck, man, I was shaking!

I called in the troops – regular doctor, shrink and my OB/GYN to get my shit in order.  The GYN (doesn’t count as an OB anymore since I’m all cleared out down there) called me in a mega-patch to control my hormones, the regular doc drew every drop of blood from my body and ran scared like I was frothing at the mouth and my shrink basically said “Shit”.

Pick up the phone and call every doctor who has ever had the honor of dealing with me and they will tell you that I am a medical nightmare.  While my ailments should be easily treated, the medications are useless because they are so short lived (if they work at all or make me stop breathing), that we’re on a constant change.

I was told four days ago to quit this drug cold turkey (I never understood that saying but I’m gonna run with it.  Cold turkeys are gross), but everything I read recommends a gradual (like six week long) detox from this drug and strongly advises not to do what I was about to do (doctor’s orders).  The reason I was told to just drop it cold is because we could do a quick kidney flush and piss it out of me in three or four days.

Would you like the next three or four days?  Here’s what’s next.

Be Sociable, Share!

•