I hate milk but I’ve been making it a point to drink it with my cereal lately.  It grosses me out as I do it but I use a ton of milk and I don’t want to waste it.

My dog barks anytime he hears a doorbell, even if it’s on TV.

I’m going to start talking about sex.  EdenFantasys plans on giving me some gift cards if I talk about the shit you can get from there and now that I’m a single lady I’m going to need them.  I was taking a look around their site and I’d say it was like being a kid at the candy store but that would be so wrong.  After seeing their selection I was blown away (BAHAHAHAHA – play on words there, get it?) by the sheer amount of things people can use in bed.  I’m essentially going to get like $110 a month to get anything I want from their store.  I don’t even know where to start and I have no idea what kind of sexual things I’m going to talk about but I’ve never really gone down the sexual route for fear of my family telling me I’m an abomination of some sort but it’s a big part of my life and if EdenFantasys is going to help me nurture me by hooking me up with some toys I’m all in.  Or they are, it depends on what I get I suppose.  I need new bras and panties too.  My BFF Sarah always has cool shit that matches and I always wear the same old beige bras and I have more pairs of granny panties than someone as young and hot as I am should so expect me to tell you a bit about my sexlife (or lack thereof) in the upcoming months.  I have stories.

I think all the celebrities are going crazy because they seen how much money Charlie Sheen is making.  That motherfucker is ‘winning’ for sure.  He’s the most brilliant crackhead ever.

Aw fuck.  I don’t know if this is funny and it’s annoying the shit out of me.  I got pissy last Thursday and decided to go to bed early and ended up forgetting to take my crazy pills.  That usually leads me to a ten day cycle but I started my birth control pills (Yep.  Full hysterectomy and I still have to be on the pill) so I’ve been bitchy while those adjust to my body plus I’ve been rapid cycling.  Friday I was so manic my friends all felt it and ended up exhausted after spending the day with me.  After finding out my deductible yesterday morning, everything went really low from that point on and I had to be babysat the entire day lest I flip out.  I was so stable a week ago so I know I’ll get back to “normal” in a while and my ob/gyn said the pill should help with the bipolar once they get to where they need to be but I’m a tiny bit nervous that adding blood that my body isn’t familiar with will fuck with my head.  I’m so seriously lucky to have a network of friends and family who know what I need to help me get through this.  I have a daily alarm set so I remember to take the crazy pills from now on.  I very rarely forget and I can usually control them but this week’s going to be doozie.

This Thursday I officially become a blogging ninja vampire.  I’m looking forward to becoming a blogging flight attendant ninja vampire.  I hope some random dude smacks my ass so I can make a hissing noise at him.  I need a trench coat so I can flip the collar up.

My birthday is in sixteen days.  I’m going to see RUSH on Friday and I’m fucking stoked.  It’s April 1st which is the day I kick off my birthday festivities.  My birthday is the 14th but I don’t stop celebrating until the 26th each year.  It goes back to high school.  There was a clique of about five of us with April birthdays and we all celebrated together for the entire month.  I don’t know if any of them still do but I sure as shit think April should be celebrated worldwide and my birthday should be declared a National holiday.

Why’d Keely go rouge with RTT HQ?  I should probably ask. I can’t give it up.  I have to have a routine.  It’s kind of my thing.

My friend does something cool and I want to share it with you.  He quit smoking a month ago and uses a fake cigarette and likes to take a long drags at stoplights and when the car next to him looks over he pokes himself in the eye with it to freak people out.  He’s also once bought a pack of gum using the “need a penny jar”.  He’s brilliant.

Okay, that looks like a good amount of words.

Be Sociable, Share!

•