*Note to all my homies – I just launched a giveaway above this.  I always return comments on posts but I DO NOT return comments on giveaways.  I’d go insane.  Just enter because it’s awesome but I’m going to visit you as I normally do off every other post.  I don’t care if that sounds douchey.  It’s how I roll”

Okay well today is the last day I’m blogging without internet.  I’ve either been driving to Ryan’s house or trying to get the one bar of unsecured internet I could find in my neighborhood.  It’s a long story I’m not getting into (actually it’s short but I don’t feel like telling it) and I’m going to get it at my place tomorrow so I should be blogging, commenting and EC dropping (for those of you who know what that is) more.

Working in the restaurant service industry has changed my opinion on everything.  First of all, I’ve always been an awesome tipper.  I’m seeing that a ton of people are not.  Fuckers.  I’m getting used to working with a ton of women.  So far they all rock.  They’re very helpful and I’m not seeing any drama.  If there is some I’m too new to see it.  I think my boss is smart in hiring hot chicks and very few dudes.  The dudes we have are good looking but there’s no heavy flirting and whatnot.

I’m about to launch a giveaway on my Wii Mommies website.  It’s pretty sweet.  If I can jack internet today I’ll put it up but I might have to type it out and toss it up tomorrow or Saturday.  I’m giving away a bunch of food in a picnic basket and a ton of free coupons.  I got the same thing and it’s super awesome like me.

Another thing I’m noticing working in this industry is that if I’m going to go sing karaoke at a restaurant I need to sit at the bar if I don’t plan on drinking because if I’m sitting at a table for four hours and just get two beers that server is totally getting screwed.  I prefer bar seats anyway but there’s one show I might start going to on Wednesdays where the bar isn’t an option so I’ll have to see how to work that one out.

I prefer the night shifts over the day.  They don’t order drinks, everything is cheaper on the lunch menu and they’re all in a super rush so my head is spinning and I’m still getting used to the tables (and they tip shit).  At night they get drunk and flirt and that’s where I’m in my element.  I just have to remember to open tabs because they wander and I don’t assign seat numbers.  I open what we call “Ghost tables” and I put what color they’re wearing or something I can remember them by.  It shows up on their ticket so I can’t put “Total Douchebag” but I usually put “Red shirt” or “long blond hair”.  It works for me.  There’s no way I can remember faces.

Hmm….what else….

Well balancing life is interesting.  They have me on all the random shifts since my schedule is wide open.  Without internet I’ve not so much neglected blogging, I’ve just pushed it to two days a week where I get it done in bunches.  Now I’ll be able to come home from work at 3AM and do my shit while I watch the Weather Channel instead of thinking about how I should be doing my shit while I watch the Weather Channel.

Speaking of shit, I need to remember to buy TP tonight before I go out.

I LOVE MY NEW SCHEDULE.

It might totally fuck with my blog posting at 8AM but I think if I write at night and just set them to post at 8 I’ll be fine.  I get to sleep until noon, go to the pool and workout, shop or whatever I want then go to work.  I can totally hang out after work as late as I wan because the staff will hang at their places or if I get out early I can hit last call somewhere (I have started drinking and I have indulged but my kids are in NY with my mom so I’m taking this brief opportunity to be a single 25 year old for a few weeks).

I stayed out until 6AM the other day.  I wasn’t even doing anything but watching infomercials (so I was thrilled, I still want pajama jeans) while people smoked pot (I don’t have lungs, I’ll never do that) and drank beers.  I don’t like drinking that late (early?) so I just hang out.  They’re all super courteous about smoking outside (or in the bathroom so I smell like pot which I don’t mind.  I miss pot) and they’re good about putting dogs away since I have massive allergy attacks when they jump all over me (which they do).

I’ve lost eight pounds swimming and I have a rocking tan.  I really don’t use the Wii anymore but I do almost every yoga pose it taught me while I’m in the pool so I’m SUPER bendy.  I still play it and use the Wii Fit to weigh myself but I’m not using it as my sole means of fitness.

I’m hot.

This is good enough for now, don’t you think?  I do.  I’m going to watch the Weather Channel to see where the tornado’s are then I’m getting ready to sing some karaoke at midnight.  Life is so totally super.  SUMMER VACATION ROCKS!

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