Depth Perception, Insomnia & Other Random Tuesday Thoughts
I may or may not be funny today. I am EXHAUSTED. I have had insomnia since a very young age. It actually runs in my family. Ambien was what saved me. I have the ability (if you want to call it that) to stay awake for days on end. I’m sick as a dog when I do, but I still stay awake. Saturday night, I didn’t get a wink. Sunday my son got me up about 2 hours after I took the Ambien but last night I ran out and my insurance won’t cover it until today so I was up. I finally took a few Xanex to get me there and passed my ass out this morning until noon. Thank god I have a friend vacationing at my house for a little while who’s great with children.
You will never in your life meet someone as clumsy as me. THAT is my gift. I just ate a Toaster Strudel (say that with a German accent please) and got some on the arm of my couch. I actually love my strudel (again, Germain accent. It has to happen) so much that I just licked it off the couch without thinking.
Last night, I was at Sam’s Club. It took me 45 minutes to get there because my Garmin felt like fucking with me, even though it’s only six miles from my home and my friend came along to help me out and would NOT stop farting the most disgusting ass I’ve ever encountered. We had all four windows down. He even grossed himself out.
While at Sam’s club, I managed to knock items off shelves, get my shoelace caught in the meat department (wipe out) and get my foot ran over with a shopping cart. That takes real skill.
I had the best comeback EVER. I have a neighbor who likes to make fun of me relentlessly. It’s all in good fun, because I like to release aggression and I need someone to punch in the arm from time to time. At a Halloween party last Saturday, he decided to make fun of my costume (wasn’t wearing one) by saying “You should have won best costume.” It wasn’t even funny. I countered with “Really? I would have thought you would have. Must’ve been hard making that asshole costume of yours. It fits perfectly.” He, too, was not actually in costume. BURN!
When I was knocked up with my second, I got huge (hence the 60 pound weight loss with the Wii Fit). So huge that one day while I was visiting family in Florida I sat in one of those outdoor chairs people use when outdoors. This was a brand new chair. I sat down in that chair after about 2 other people already had when my feet got tired from keeping my fat ass upright and it immediately collapsed to the ground. Shattered into pieces. Not my best moment.
I’ve also decided to re-learn French. I was actually fluent in high school. So fluent that I actually taught it. Then I got into my pot smoking phase (don’t judge) and over time lost the ability to speak the language. Shit, I can barely speak English. I can just write well. I’ve set my navigation system in my car to have the written display in English and the lady speaking the directions tell me in French. While I can’t carry a conversation, I can tell just about anyone when they need to turn left. Except for Zoolander. He can’t turn left.
How do you feel about random? It’s for those who have thoughts that they can’t fit into an entire post, so you just do it like this, right now. Then you go on over to the beautiful Keely at The Un Mom and link up. Then you click on every other person who linked up there and read theirs and comment. That’s how this works.
Coffee. Pepsi. Two things I’m about to drink a lot of. Peace out, homie.
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HA! I love the whole Garmin thing. We have the GPS but ha get this I forget to take it with me so I call hubby for directions when most of the time he is in another state.
Sleep I hear ya. They won’t give me anything not sure why but I would love to be able to sleep one night all the way through or not lay there for 5 hours trying to fall asleep. I get cranky girl. How do you hide the crankiness?
Tonoogle (Tonya)´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts
I sympathize about the lack of sleep.
Secret Mom Thoughts´s last blog ..Ticked Off Tuesday List
I love how you’re relearning French. I used to sit and watch movies in french on the weekend to help with mine. I’ve lost it all now.
I feel for ya, I’ve suffered from insomnia since I was young too. I go in cycles, I’ll sleep ok for a while then be stricken with insomnia for months and have to take something for it. And when the insomnia kicks in the bipolar kicks in too. It’s lovely. So, I can relate.
I love me some toaster strudel. Now I have to buy some when I go to the grocery store tomorrow.
Sounds like an interesting night at Sam’s Club. I’d have loved to be there, I could have used the laugh. Yes, I laugh at other people’s pain. It’s a character flaw, I can’t help it.
GREAT comeback!! That was about as perfect as they get. lol
Good luck with the French. I took it in high school but can’t remember any of it. I think you’re right and it must have been all the pot. Sometimes I miss it. The pot, not the French.
Happy RTT!
Julie Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
I think I miss both the pot and the french some days ROFL
I’m pretty clumsy too. Somehow I manage to sprain my ankles while just walking. Luckily it hasn’t happened while a zombie has been chasing me because that would so suck.
I can say Toaster strudel with a German accent because I took German for 6 years in school. Good luck on the French.
Think of how boring the days of nonclumsy people must be… or I guess of how much more time they have since they aren’t always picking themselves up, cleaning a spill or examining a new found bruise
Crap! I just typed out this long comment and when I hit submit it had “issues”. Now I have to remember….
I’m pretty clumsy too. I sprain my ankles just walking. At least it’s never happened while I’ve been running away from a zombie because that would totally suck.
I can say Toaster Strudel with a German accent because I took German for 6 years in school. Good luck with the French.
Elle´s last blog ..It’s Tuesday, We’re Random
Lack of sleep…that is rough. Here’s to hopeing you feel better real soon!
Trish @IamSucceeding´s last blog ..A Host Of Hotness
Julie you nut.
Remind me to stay out of your Sam’s Club
Harriet´s last blog ..I Challenge You to Leave 1000 Comments!!!!!!!
I feel you girl. I am the Queen of Klutzy. But I don’t have the insomnia. When my head finalllyyy hits the pillow I Am Out.
I remember pot. Good times. Good timessss.
You know you just Totally Rock right???
heather@thewifeydiaries´s last blog ..RTT: So Lotta Random, so little time…
Julie Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I needed to hear that. You’re the bees knees. Did you know bees have knees?
Random Random Random Thoughts With Random In Them:
Airports would be way more interesting if you were assigned random flights.
Can you take out life insurance policies on random people?
I want to just walk around & ruin random conversations by yelling, “YOU LIE!”
I’m not really that random. My thoughts just get detained and then they are released all at once.
Think about this: If I am always random, then by definition I am consistent, not random. (I just blew my own mind.)
Random thoughts . . . yeah, I have them.
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Really? You sat in one of those outdoor chairs that people use outside? I am SO glad you clarified that, because I would have sat here forever confused on where outdoor chairs are supposed to be used!
I took ambien ONCE when I was still preggo and my grandpa died so that I would stay calm. My husband said I acted crazy all night-even standing on the bed and telling him I felt crazy. I guess don’t give it to those of us that are already nuts.
Vicki@frugalmomknowsbest´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts
Julie Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
“Really? You sat in one of those outdoor chairs that people use outside? I am SO glad you clarified that, because I would have sat here forever confused on where outdoor chairs are supposed to be used!” I was wondering who’d notice that one lol.
have you tried Nyquil my DIL says it works for her – out like a light.
Julie Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
OTC stuff like Tylenol PM and Nyquil make me SUPER hyper.
I’ve been an insomniac most of my life too… also runs in my family… got it under control now (I’d tell you how but then I’d have to kill you)
And also so very clumsy, talk and awkward, tripping much and bumping into things are hobbies of mine.
cristin´s last blog ..RTT: In Which The Children Behave Horribly and The Meeces are Smashed To Pieces
I haven’t had the chair collapse on me yet … but I always worry. Now I’ll really worry. And I’ll have to glare at the Wii Fit more often.
A Tired Wife´s last blog ..It’s Tuesday Again … Time to Get Random …
I whacked myself in the head with the car door Friday night and earned myself a little trip to the Urgent Care. Luckily, just a concussion and a thumb-sized lump over my right eyebrow that makes me look like a total dork. We are immersed in re-fluenting our french. Our youngest daughter is taking it in school and we had friends from Switzerland and France here visiting this summer, so I have a renewed interest as well. One of my stupid human tricks is to sing Christmas carols in french. I don’t know if people are amazed that I know carols in french or if they are amazed at how bad my singing is. Alors, ca c’est tout
NeCole@Eclectic Ecstasy´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts – Gone to the Dogs
You are so funny! I am a klutz too, some days I cant seem to do anything right. I cant sleep hardly at all either, I stay up to 2 or 3 and wake up early with my hubby. About once a week I’ll get a good night’s sleep. Its so frustrating.
Angie´s last blog ..Homemade Mayonnaise with Olive Oil
The cure for insomnia is easy! Just watch a Nascar race and follow it up by renting, “The Passion of the Christ!” POW! instant snoozeville!!! LOL
OTIN´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts(With Singing to boot!)
No wonder you were a little off balance at Sam’s Club. Being that you were gassed the whole way there. You poor thing!
(I didn’t even say a word about your post and my son is now bending over and ‘aiming’ at his sister. You gotta love 14 year old boys!)
Lola´s last blog ..A little help please…
Ha, that was a good comeback! I’m a tough sleeper too but I can’t take anything since I wouldn’t hear the kids to get up with them. And they get up at 5:30. Well, sometimes. And it sucks.
Casey´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: That Wasn’t So Hard, Was It?
Oh how neat, the French will come back to you. I have to take Spanish sometime before I get my degree.
Oh wow, we have so much in common. I am SO clumsy too. We would probably rather share nice hair or something, LOL!
MommaYoung´s last blog ..Can’t I get a little boost? Random Tuesday Thoughts
Julie, je parle Français!! I’m from Canada, speak French at home with my kids and at work, I’ll help you!
Wow that must be so hard to deal with insomnia, especially with kids. how do you do that? When I don’t have sleep I can’t deal with my 2yo.
The chair made me laugh,
My husband is narcoleptic (can’t sleep at night and tired all day)
I wish I knew a foreign language
Louise´s last blog ..Random Tuesday: I am on the verge of insanity
Moi aussi!! I took French FOREVER and would love to learn to speak it fluently — I can read and hear it better than I can speak it! Well, just so long as I’m spoken to VERY slowly! LOL Good luck with it!
Karen @ If I Could Escape´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts . . .
When I was in high school my nickname was “A.P.”… for Accident Prone. So I feel ya. But hey, you gave me a giggle about your antics in Sam’s club!
GREAT comeback!! BURN!
Very cool you’re going to re-learn French. Yeah, it’s too bad something so enjoyable tends to erase things in your head. Wait…what was I talking about again? (snicker!)
Happy RTT a day late!
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..Thanksgiving Feast Part 2 – Slow Cooker Apple Stuffing/Dressing…Random Tuesday Style
Happy belated Tuesday. Sleep is precious. My hubbie using the same sleeping routine you are, but it’s generic something or other that isn’t Ambien. Ambien isn’t in Canada as far as we can tell.
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