…but I’m going to write it anyway.

It’s possible I’ll regret it.

And It’s Gonna Be A Four-Parter, because I can’t shut the fuck up.  I guess that covers my Thursday and Monday posts then!

I told everyone on Twitter to friend me on Facebook because my life is on there for everyone to read.  I try to keep it light and funny, even when I feel dark.  The problem is, by the time they got to Facebook, everything I said had fallen to the bottom.

I have a sub-category here dedicated solely to depression.  It started out as just one post about being bipolar, confiding in strangers but as time went on, I found myself telling you more.  The things I say you, I say for two reasons.  The first is that I am a writer.  I was born to express myself with my hands.  While I may talk a lot, it’s my hands that speak for me.  If I’m troubled, I can’t tell anyone how I feel the way I could if I was able to write it.  Secondly, I think there are a lot of people out there who are suffering and either don’t know why or are too scared to talk about it for fear of being somehow punished.

When I got sick and had my full hysterectomy, my condition got worse. (more…)

For weeks, WEEKS, I’ve been preparing for an operation I’m sure most of you are aware of.  Not just the mental preparation, but the preparation of finding individuals who can make themselves available to take care of my children during my four week recovery.  A recovery I understand will be very painful.

Two months ago, when this procedure was suggested, I told my doctor about my allergy to narcotics.  I know of this allergy because I’ve had various reactions to those given to me and was told by doctors that means I’m allergic.  At no point in my life was it suggested that I go to an Allergist to actually figure out what I can and can not use to ease any pain that might occur in my lifetime, and since it wasn’t suggested, the thought of needing to do so didn’t occur to me.

On Tuesday, March 9, 2010, I went into the hospital ready to have this operation.  I wasn’t scared, I had a good time keeping up with my online friends by Tweeting and Facebooking and was brought back into the Pre-Op area where I was prepped for surgery.  My items were taken, blood drawn and all the pertinent questions asked.

As scheduled, the Anesthesiologist arrives to talk about my surgical and post-op care.  I again answered the typical questions and when I once again mentioned my allergies, I was quizzed on what medications were used to treat my hysterectomy last June. (more…)

This is about 6 years old lol. I was HAMMERED.

See, here’s the thing.  I LOVE pain.  I mean, sure, I’ve never gotten a tattoo and just pierced my ears for the first time a few years ago but when it comes to finding body parts I need to get rid of, I’m a pro. Especially considering the fact that I’m allergic to all narcotics and ever some OTC like Motrin and Advil.  Regular Tylenol and whatever synthetic they can find is all I’m allowed to have.  THAT’S what I call a party.

It all started when I was young.  I had a few minor procedures over the years that led to the infamous hysterectomy I’m looking forward to shutting up about, a breast reduction from a 36I to a 36D and gave birth to two kids – one naturally and one C-Section.

That hysterectomy led to triple pneumonia and a twelve hour blood transfusion.  Good times.  Good times.

I have NO IDEA what the fuck has happened to me this year but let me tell you what, me no likey.

I’m about to tell you the latest, most terrifying procedure I have to have done on March 9, 2010.  The reasons I need this stem from a combination of shit that already existed combined with shit that happened while I was in the hospital or something like that.

I found out I was getting this operation last month and had the date set last week and I was told that this is one of the most painful procedures a person can have.  Something that would make the pain I felt from my hysterectomy feel like it was a scratch on the knee (but I think those hurt, too, so whatever).

There’s only one reason I didn’t tell all of you this right away.  I know I kept hinting toward it but I honestly was too afraid to tell you because I’m afraid I’ll get made fun of. (more…)

I’m going to start by saying that any of you who know me know that I suffer from depression and bipolar disorder.  I talked about my problems on The Wii Mommies Radio Show last week and have written numerous posts about how I suffer from depression.  I actually made a depression category within this site because I just now realized just how much I talk about it.

Yesterday on Facebook and Twitter, I put a call out for people to help me out by simply donating $1 to PayPal.  I linked a new email (FlyJulieHome@Gmail.com) to my husband’s PayPal (because my accounts are in my business name and this is DEFINITELY not business).  People have been asking me why so I’m going to do that in a rather unconventional way.  I’m just going to post my Facebook updates.  That best explains it. I did not text and drive.  I was either in park or a passenger.  Please note I will add a few pics and will also make relevant notes in italics.  This is a VERY important post to me.  I have NEVER asked for help with anything.  People seem to be under the impression that I’m loaded.  I’m not.  While I do have a business, I can’t use business funds for personal reasons and my personal funds suck because the state of the economy blows ass and I have two mortgage payments.  Here is a recap of my weekend, which began Friday evening at 5PM.  I started Facebooking at 5:43PM. (more…)

I was planning on writing about fantasy football today, because I initially dedicated my Mondays to my Fantasy Football training stuff, but I am absolutely MISERABLE today and I’ve decided to bitch instead.  I’ve already written my Bitchfest ’09 this year, but I’m bringing y’all a round two, simply because I’m bitching and it’s still 2009.  Aren’t I a bundle of joy?

I love Thanksgiving.  I freaking LOVE it.  All year long, I look forward to the joys of stuffing my face without guilt.  I talk about it for weeks in advance.  I prep for it by finding my favorite stretchy pants and giggle in anticipation.

This Thanksgiving, I got the Swine Flu or some shit.

I doubt that’s what it was, but what the frick.  Regardless, I was sick.  Super sick.

Beyond that, I’m bipolar.  I tell everyone all the time so y’all probably know that.  I’m also menopausal, which I never thought would bother me, since I hated my uterus for making me so uncomfortable with the grudge it had against me, but I was wrong.  It bothers me.  (more…)