Bloody Noses, Friendly’s and Thanks, Xanex-Random Tuesday Thoughts
Mr. Linky, you’re killing me.
I’m getting to where I actually PLAN my Random Tuesday Thoughts, created by the beautiful and brilliant Keely from The Un Mom.
I am completely against animal cruelty but have an overwhelming urge to kick my dog in the ass if he doesn’t stop barking at the invisible squirrel in my back yard.
I want to show you the picture of satisfaction. We drove 40 minutes to the closest Friendly’s Restaurant, the greatest place on earth (followed by Denny’s-I’m not hard to please). I was shocked to see that they’re both on Twitter, which is hilarious and awesome at the same time. Finding Denny’s on Twitter got me a $5 off coupon for Sunday’s French Slam craving and finding Friendly’s simply gave me a massive and immediate need for Grilled Chee, so we went there Monday. I know people are freaking out everywhere about companies sponsoring Mom Bloggers but I think BOTH of these restaurants need to fight for me and give me some free shit. I promote them constantly anyway, may as well get a Fribble and a Grand Slam out of the deal. I’m just sayin’.
Tell me that doesn’t look like one satisfied baby. Josh, with his awesome 90′s Bon Jovi hair, was clean when we arrived yesterday. He was also about 5 pounds lighter. That’s the satisfied grin of a one year old who just housed some chicken tenders, fries and a happy ending. I’m talking Sundae, not that special massage you get in China Town. Sickos.
Following that tasty treat, we decide to get the kids to burn some calories at the Mall play area. I’m not sure why I insist on going. There is always some douchey kid out to get one of my children. The other day, a little girl was insistent on trying to get her bare feet to step on that chunky face you see above, while another kid kept yelling for him to “Step off”. Josh is just learning to step, period. Who tells a one year old to step off? That little d-bag, that’s who.
I can not for the life of me find where that smell is coming from. I think it’s the smell of having 2 sons.
So there they are, Jake and Josh. Cute as can be. I took that picture shortly after arriving at the play area yesterday. We actually turned Josh’s shirt inside out, thinking it’d be classier than leaving the Friendly’s dominated stained side showing, because we put the ASS in class.
I mean, look at them! They’re freakin’ cute, right? I’m so glad I captured that moment, because mere minutes later my world came to a crashing hault as I watched my four year old Jake collide face-first into an oncoming child. There was no way to avoid it, they were each coming around a blind spot. My hubs had the baby in the car changing his diaper (I’m not a fan of mall bathrooms, I opt for the car when I can) and all of the sudden BAM!
I’m already up and running but it feels like I’m stuck in 4 feet of mud, because I can’t get to my son in time. He screams as blood starts pouring from his nose. In all of his four years, I’ve never seen this kid bleed. He zipped his dingus in his zipper once and I had to do the quick unzip to get it out of there (VOMIT) and even that didn’t bleed.
…I would like to take a breif moment to thank the makers of Pfizer for making the Xanex I took when I got home from the mall to stop the shaking and crying. Jake got over the nose bleed in about 10 minutes, it took me about 4 hours…
I’ve NEVER seen my kid bleed. He’s bruised and bashed before but never bled.
I don’t even know what the other kid looked like. I grabbed our gear and swept Jake up into my arms. I glanced briefly at the mother of the other kid to make sure she was taking care of her and I hauled-ass out of there.
I almost went to the bathroom, but the hubs was outside and I didn’t want him to return to hear we ran off in a bloody heap, so I headed for the car. Jake’s screaming and we’re both covered in blood and I’m pushing his sock up to his nose because I didn’t know what else to do as I run out into the mall parking lot yelling for Ryan to help.
GOOD JOB, RYAN.
You rocked my socks off. You took one look at the bloody mess that was your wife and said “Get the baby” as you grabbed Jake from my shaking arms. We immediately put both kids in their car seats and you jammed yourself in the 4 inch space between their seats of our Hyundai so that you could calm Jake down and stop the bleeding during the ride home.
I cried silently as I drove (I didn’t want Jake to see me freaked out) and within minutes, we were home and clean with Jake playing outside on his scooter like it never happened. I was still shaking and therefore immediately turned to Xanex (thanks again, Pfizer) and Twitter for support.
I woke up this morning expecting 2 black eyes and a swollen nose, but he’s just stuffy and bored. It’s raining and we’re without a car, so it’ll be a big day of Boom Blox and Guitar Hero to pass the time.
I think I might bake something or do laundry. Weird.
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Never a dull moment with little kids, huh? Glad everything is better this morning.
Sorry to hear about Jake – quite an abrupt end to fun at the mall…isn’t it funny how quickly kids get over things? Wish we could all be like that!
Ah, yes – children have an amazing ability to bounce back, don’t they? Don’t let yourself be freaked out by large quantities of blood, though – as the mother of two much older sons, I can guarantee that won’t be the last time you’ll see it.
Oh, and the smell? Just wait till they’re teenagers. Yeah.
My sons are 26 and 14, btw (you asked over on my blog), with a 22-year-old sister and 20-year-old and 17-year-old step-sisters in the middle. The Brady Bunch we ain’t.
Holy crap! How did I miss this yesterday? I was lost in coupon oblivion and somehow this didn’t catch my radar. I’m so sorry…I would have FREAKED out too…I don’t think I’ve ever seen my kid bleed like that either.
Love you…see you THREE DAYS from now!! WOOOOOO!
Julie Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 10:50 am
AHHH!!! I’m SO EXCITED!!!
Hi Julie.
My dog does that too. It’s like they’re bored or something and decide to bark at nothing.
yes, seeing a bloody nose for the first time is horrible!
my daughter used to fall on her nose all the bloody time – so now – she is so prone to nose bleeds if she gets the slightest tap there!
I hate it when my kids bleed.
You feel like Mom–FAIL, even if you couldn’t have prevented it.
I am convinced that the nose and lips on a human bleed more than any other places. My kids have put this theory into practice more times than I like to admit. Thankfully nothing ever too serious…well other than that time we had to get KiKi’s lip glued back together.
oh man what a crappy end to a good sundae! I hate when the kids are crying and hurt. Glad he is ok now! by the way…is his tshirt a NYC one…if so Zach has the same shirt.
Julie Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Yep, sure is! Neat!
you did good! I remember a few freak outs like this when TJ first started having these, without being bopped on the nose.
Friendly’s RULZ…. and I’m super stoked that we’re getting a Dennys at the mall near my house!!
Jesse also got ambushed yesterday at a mall play area, so much so that he finally (3yo) came over to me and sat down and said “they’re running tooooo fast mommy”… truth be told, those kids were too old to be in there anyway. So we went to build-a-bear and had fun.
kiss Jake for me.
oh and one more thing… YOU doing laundry IS weird. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
Oh everybody is on twitter now I think! Jake and Josh are indeed such cute kids. So sorry to learn about Jack’s collision with the other kid. Glad he’s doing fine now. Take care and have a great week
They are so adorable. I love the pics and I’m looking forward to my little man giving me so much fun. Although he gives me way too much now.
My husband and you are the same when it comes to kids bleeding. I’m the one with the “medical” experience (I say that in quotes because I’m a transcriptionist who has worked as a receptionist in various doctor’s offices and has lots of friends who are nurses) so I’m the one who gets STUCK cleaning up the blood and figuring out how to fix whatever ailment has occurred. It’s AWESOME!
Wow! I’m exhausted from your day! Glad the little guy is doing okay today. Blood coming from your child is no fun. Ever.
Guitar Hero and laundry sound good to me! Have fun!
Ohhh good times..I think we all have days like that Julie…
but, at least they are cute, right?
Stop, you’re killing me! I couldn’t stop laughing, well, until the blood. Glad everything is good.
My husband is a wild man when we have our granddaughter at the mall play area! I have to keep my eye on him because I swear one day he’s going to take out one of those big kids! I fear a lawsuit in our future.
I had to laugh about the dog barking! I get so annoyed when a dog just keeps barking, drives me crazy!
Oh man! I would have totally freaked out too! I remember when I was in first grade I was running (illegally) in the playground and ran around a blind corner of the school…smack dab into another little girl…I made her nose bleed but I pretty much came out of it unscathed – well, except for a reprimand and having to ‘sit out’ several recess sessions after that…
I still remember all that blood gushing to this day… 
Mr. Linky sure has been a PITA for the past week, hasn’t he? Really putting a crimp in my trying to get caught up!!
I need Red Robin to sponsor me. oh, yeah!
Poor baby! I would have run screaming to my DH. I can’t do blood.
Julie Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Ooh….Red Robin. Yeah. Endless Fries…mmmmm
Dog barking. We have invisible animals in our yard that the dogs think they have to bark at just when I am totally unprepared and I jump out of my pants and yell at them TO STOP BARKING.
And they look at me like man mom what is your deal.
Okay, it’s official. I love you. In that non-lesbian kind of way. (As if I didn’t already before. Just sayin’)
Why?
‘Cuz you totally rocked the Bon Jovi 90′s hair reference with your baby’s hair (so friggin’ true by the way) and the word “douchey” into your blog post. *MEGA LOVE*
Had to laugh — where’s spellcheck when you need it: “a massive and immediate need for Grilled Chee.”
Julie does love her Grilled Chee!
xxxoooxxx
Julie Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Oh, I said chee on purpose. It’s too cool to be called cheese.
I’m just jealous to hear you mention Friendly’s. We haven’t lived in Connecticut for about 3 years now, and my kids still talk about how Friendly’s was the best restaurant ever. Maybe you can use your star blogger power to get them to start locations on the west coast. Please.
He looks downright gleeful. Too fricken funny.
I have 2 boys too, and there’s always some type of smell! Mine are 8 & 10, I think they get smellier as they get older!
I’ve managed to handle other bodily fluids well so far, but I’m not looking forward to that one. Ugh. Although I suspect I’ll handle it better than hubby.
My dog barks at nothing, too. I swat her sometimes. I tell myself I do it out of love.
That’s a scary collision story! We’ve had a few bloody incidents around here so I’m pretty used to them but still, blood is always jarring.
I think we have the same annoying-assed fucking dog. I know you’re not allowed to say fuck on your site anymore but I still am.
Bon Jovi kid is adorable. Seriously, you make cute babies.
Oh, and Mr Linky is pissing me off too, I hate him.