Bitchfest ’09
It’s rare for me to write without purpose. I always plan what I’m going to write ahead of time so that I know I’m publishing quality content. Today, it’s more about quantity.
I hate mornings. Hate them. If anyone wakes me up before 8:00, I am a complete psychotic for the entire day. It’s currently 7:50 and I do believe I’ve been up for 20 minutes, but my eyes are just starting to focus.
You see, I’m a lucky mommy. I have an 18 month old who usually sleeps until 9 and a four year old who wakes up with his father and knows not to get mommy until the clock strikes 8 (with a sledgehammer). Today, the baby got up early.
Stinkin’ babies.
This is what I do every morning, because I’m sure you’re all wondering. First, I stall getting out of bed until my husband or son absolutely gives me no choice but to wake up. Then, I stomp my feet as I pout my way into the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth.
Immediately following that, I walk down into the kitchen and stare blankly into the refrigerator, forgetting what it is I was looking for. There may or may not be a child latched onto my leg asking for food, which may or may not lead to me feeding said child.
From time to time, I’ll make coffee that I’ll forget to drink.
Then comes the computer. Lately, I’ve been avoiding it. Blah, blah, blah, depression issues and whatnot. Typically, when I’m not a complete psychotic (it must be after 8:00AM), I turn this puppy on and open Yahoo Mail, my business email, my 3 websites, Facebook and Twitter.
Hold on, I forgot to open my Twitter. That just sounds dirty.
I check my mail, say good morning to my tweeps and try to come up with something witty to put as my Facebook status update but if it’s before 8 it usually just involves me being miserable. Then I stare blankly at my computer screen wondering what I’m supposed to be doing.
Let me tell you, I love reviewing products. Getting a great item to check out with my family and sharing what I’ve learned with my readers is a very satisfying feeling. It’s the WRITING of the review I always put off doing. I have no idea why. I’m assuming it’s the FTC and all the pain in the ass blogger drama out there judging every single one of us, but that’s neither here nor there.
I really wanted to write “here nor there”.
After I stare at my websites and wonder what (if) I’ll be writing, I start in on comments. I get A LOT of comments and I LOVE that. I also love returning comments, I’m just bad about it when I travel because I’m made to feel guilty when I do anything that doesn’t involve chasing my kids when I’m on “vacation”.
When I don’t return comments, I feel like a total asshole. You are all so super good to me and take the time to read and acknowledge how good you are to me and I think bloggers should recognize that and return the favor.
Once I’ve written what I need to write and return what I need to return, I usually just spend the rest of the day playing with my kids (a.k.a. “seeing what’s on tv”) and screwing around on Facebook and Twitter. I’ll check emails and return any other comments that come through and instant message about 30 people at one time. I text on my cell (…taking a moment to appreciate my cell…) and pray my home phone doesn’t ring because that’s never a good sign. The home phone usually means someone is calling to yell at me about something (mom).
Anywho, that’s it. That’s my day. I’m sure everyone is on the edge of their seats (or in my case, couch) riveted by this overview of my life, I know I am. What an exciting freaking life I have, eh? This is for all you fantastic people who think my little ‘ol life is glamorous. The glamor doesn’t usually happen until the sun sets, when nighttime Julie rears her pretty head.
Okay, well I’m about to go dress my four year old as a cowboy and my 18 month old is climbing the stairs so I have to chase after him but thanks for listening to my Bitchfest ’09. As it is currently after 8AM, I should start merging from bitch to human soon but for now I’m going to savor the misery.
23 Comments
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I LUFF the honesty. I lead a similar daily life… I always feel guilty when I tell people I enjoy staying home and doing pretty much nothing.
ha! love this. This is so me minus the kids. I love it.
.-= Tonoogle (Tonya)´s last blog ..Wii Fit Plus =-.
This is kind of funny to me because last night I wrote a random post on how I check my e-mail. Like anyone cares how many times it takes to get through all of the e-mails I get in a day.
Anyways, you are awesome, I’m glad to read this because I was wondering if you were still doing ok. I forgot that you were on “vacation”
Good to see you back
.-= Louise´s last blog ..Free Bird =-.
I feel for you. When mornings start before they should it’s the pits. My oldest had to get up extra early today to go for some science thing at school. That alarm went off way to early.
.-= JAS´s last blog ..Is Winter Here Already? =-.
I’m surprised you had the wherewithal to write this at such an ungodly hour! I too have a baby that likes to sleep until 9, and a wonderful hubby who takes the 8yo to school at the dreadful hour of 8am (when he’s in town). My kids know better than to wake me before 8, but preferably not before 9. I speak to no one until at least 1 cup of coffee has been had. My hubby says I live like a rockstar, which is funny because he actualls IS a rockstar but gets up in the morning. Ok, I basically blogged on your blog so I’ll stop now.
I have been thinking of changing my voice mail to say my office hours are 9am to 5pm PACIFIC STANDARD TIME (I live in Atlanta)
…always nice to read your column and know I’m not alone… Thanks!!
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..Children’s pajamas and flame retardants =-.
I’m a single dad, a 17 yr old daughter in 12th grade, next year PUC in Napa…I’m an electrical engineer….ee
Have a good day, be nice be good ohhhh i need a cup of coffee, poor husband just thinking about all those days of getting up early, because you can not hehe
sorry—Earl (real name)
Albert Reid
that is it. I thought I was your one and only that you commented on, and here I find you comment to others? That is blasphemy!
I will admit that part of the reason that I let my kids stay up with me is because they sleep later. Such a bad mommy I know.
.-= Vicki@frugalmomknowsbest´s last blog ..Time out for Theta Mom Thursday and the Witches Hat craft! =-.
Things are similar here except for the wake up time is usually 6:30 am.
Pro tip: If you can’t sleep, watching Discovery Health is no help, and once you do sleep, your dreams will be about having giant legs.
I am opposite of you…more like that after 10pm…although 4;30 this morning for me was way to early
.-= colleen´s last blog ..Tutu’s by Porscha…making tutus for special needs little girls =-.
OH gosh I hear you! I don’t have a particular time that makes me grumpy but what makes me have a super grumpy morning is when I wake up to TWO screaming boys who just can’t seem to be happy watching PBS Sprout for just a few moments while Mommy makes her coffee and wakes up … that’s what puts me from happy miserable!!
.-= Brandy´s last blog ..Setting Achievable Goals =-.
Oh how I feel for you, though to me 8am is wicked ungodly. I don’t even remember what happens before noon. Ha, my girls are older and I did a whole post last year on us being baitches on school days. Luckily they aren’t little miss sunshines getting their butts ready for school or work when it is still dark and they realize our snapping and growling is bonding time.
I need to send Ian to you so you can teach him not to wake his Gigi but my bad and I am sure it is my fault his mama doesn’t wake up when they are staying with me.
.-= Dddiva´s last blog ..Sorry I’ve been absent, will catch up soon =-.
I love it Julie!
I guess every mom gets in that mode at some point during the day!!!
It happens to the best of us…I personally have a child who is up at 5:30 but knows not to come in until 7…sheesh, but half the time i’m up at 6:30 cuz who can sleep with the TV blaring???
You brought a smile to me today..thanks for that!
Jody In Beautiful BC
I thoroughly enjoy your blog. I have a very similar daily life, to you. You are not alone!
Wendy
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..Make some money, and increase blog traffic. =-.
I always feel the need to return a comment – common courtesy. But if it is from someone who stops by often I just try to get over to their place once a week.
Oh – and I don’t start functioning until about 10AM – regardless of what time my body gets up.
.-= Bumbles´s last blog ..ON BLOGGING ~ A Major Award… =-.
I love your honesty and am sure we all do or at least have felt the same way at some time, especially when raising kids. Your little “story” really made me laugh.
Thank you
Martha
.-= Martha A. Cheves´s last blog ..Stir, Laugh, Repeat – Review =-.
Just stopped by to say hi. Hope you got to sleep in today!
.-= Vicki@frugalmomknowsbest´s last blog ..Balloons, Dr.’s, bullies and witches (oh my) =-.
Oh girl, you always make me laugh… out loud! The kids are sure I am crazy (they are right) but I have reason. I mean come on “opening your twitter”.
I am the same with reviews love them, but takes a little to get motivated write the darn things…
Have a great weekend!!!
.-= MommaYoung´s last blog ..The things I miss…. =-.
That’s hilarious. I’ve gotten use to sleeping till 8 a.m too. Problem is, in two weeks, my year long maternity leave ends and I’m back at work. Which will mean getting up at 6 a.m, fighting to get the kids dressed to go to daycare and trying to make myself a little presentable.
I feel the same about giveaways as you. Great minds and all.
.-= Maria@Conversations with Moms´s last blog ..Friday Frustrations – Whoever you are….Get Out =-.
You are indeed very funny.I don’t comment as much as I should.We all do the best we can. My little ones are all grown up. Now I just wait for my granddaughter to come over every morning.I am retired and don’t have time for anything.And I am up no later than 5:30.I don’t know how I survived when I worked.
Have a sparkling weekend.
.-= Grampy´s last blog ..Shopping Heaven =-.
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
sounds very familiar to me. The only think missing is the school bus dash!
.-= kyooty´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts, more Rambling =-.