I love Macy’s.  They have the BEST baby gifts ever.  If you’re looking for a layette, you can’t beat First Impressions.   Six years ago, I found out I was pregnant with my first son.  Once announced, people kept telling me I had to register for a layette set.  I had absolutely NO IDEA what that meant.  Even though I was married and 27, I was one of the first to get pregnant out of all my friends, so layette’s weren’t exactly something we talked about regularly.

Well then the months passed and I got to do the baby registry thing and I was happily zapping away.  THAT was when I learned what a layette was.

According to First Impressions,  a layette is made up of all the soft pieces your newborn needs for his or her fist days and weeks.  These include: (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

Yeah.  So my dog is allergic to grass.  What the hell?  Who get’s a dog that’s allergic to grass?  Me.  Who get’s a LAB that hates water?  Me.  Who’s crying because the lab that hates water and is allergic to grass has to have an operation on his ears?  Me.

So, yeah.  This is all about ME (shocker).  My dog is sitting at my feet slightly pissed off that he just had a thermometer shoved up his ass and was so nervous that when the vet picked him up he peed as he was lifted.  Being that it was a small room and I was shielding my children, I ended up covered in dog pee.

He’s been getting ear cleanings and antibiotics for years and years but this just keeps coming back and as he gets older (he’s eight now), he’s getting ornery and gets snippy if his ears hurt and I try touching them.  This time he dug at them so bad he has scabs in my favorite part- that little soft spot just behind them that reminds me of when he was a puppy.  I have to give him a round of antibiotics and schedule the operation next week. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

Go Random. Go To The Un Mom. Right Now. Well, Read This First. Then click this. She's hawt.

I think the “Shit My Dad Says” Guy is either my dad or he’s  ripping my dad off, because my dad says funnier shit than any other dad out there.  If you doubt me, follow me on Facebook.  He’s there.  Follow him, too.  Anyone who tells me they think I’m funnier must need a favor from me, because there isn’t a single person I know that is smarter or funnier than my father.

Now that I’m a grown up, I totally get it.  I know that I was a smart kid and I understood way more than most kids.  My son Jake is the same way.  He’s too smart for his own good.  I’m the only one who can outwit him and my dad is the only one who can outwit me.

You know when you burn your tongue on something and you get a tiny little burn bump (I assume the word would be blister but that grosses me out)?  My dad told me a taste bud was popping and I’d never taste whatever flavor that specific bud held again and that I’d never know the difference, since I’d never taste it again.

I just remembered that.  I burned my tongue on my pizza tonight and wondered if I’ve lost chocolate yet.  As much as I love it, it’d be a good bud to lose.  If I couldn’t taste chocolate, I wouldn’t need it, henceforth rendering it’s power over me useless. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

HA!

Ahhh….

I’m still laughing about that one.  Who are we kidding?  I ALWAYS have something to talk about.  Even when I’m not speaking out loud, which I rarely do during the day unless it’s to say “Would you two cut it out!?” I’m always talking.  Twitter, Facebook and blog hopping.  Talk, talk talk.

I have to take sleepy pills just to shut my mind off and now use my super awesome X10 to play me music all night.  I have to change up my play list though, because there is some song, somewhere that is waking me up at night causing me to fumble around and turn my phone off.  I put over 300 songs on there, so that’s going to be a job putting the right song list together.

There’s been some changes going on in my bloggy world.  I was a shitty Momspective blogger last week because I am a VERY driven person.  When I put my mind to something, I pretty much lock in and really focus on the task, especially when it’s something like a trip to Africa.  That’s out of my hands now (literally, I already wrote my last post on my review site) and all I can do now is wait. I’m going to have my email checked ahead of time to see if there’s any emails waiting for me so I can vlog my reaction.  Some of the contestants are starting to blast on twitter so if you want to toss in a “Julie Maloney rocks and #SONY should send #Julie2FIFA”, that might give me a hand

Frick. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)