Before I start writing this review, I have to confess something most of you already know.  I am OBSESSED with infomercials.  Like in an unhealthy, twisted way.  It’s been a dream of mine to one day star in my own infomercial, and I even have the product I want to create and promote in mind, I just don’t have the time or or skill to do either.

That is not the reason I’m reviewing these two products.  I actually didn’t even realize these products had the awesome “As Seen On TV” label because I had my friend open the package for me (I’m not a good package opener, I’m the most uncoordinated person on earth and if I tried, destruction would ensue).

The reason I opted to try these products is because I travel A LOT.  Every few months, I’ll put my two kids in the car and drive 12 hours from SC to NY through the night.  My hope is that they’ll sleep but it doesn’t always happen.  If plane tickets are cheap enough, I go that route but flying with a toddler is a NIGHTMARE and at least he’s locked in place in my car.

While some of the states I drive through allow us to talk on our cell phones, it’s just not safe to do and I don’t feel comfortable doing it with kids in the car.   That’s why when I was offered the Jupiter Jack to review, I figured I’d give it a whirl. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

So I was on Facebook the other day (if you add me as a friend please understand I’m a brutal, vulgar Facebooker) and I think I asked for something to write about and one of my closest friends from school suggested that I write about labor, since she’s pregnant with her first child.

Lindz, you’re brilliant. That idea slapped an entire series of stories into my head from my pregnancies. I just realized last night that I’ve never talked about being pregnant or giving birth. Since I have absolutely NO intention (or ability) to EVER have another child again, I just never thought much about it but looking back on my pregnancies I realized I have stories.  Lots of stories.

I was going to write about labor, as suggested, but she’s only at like 20 weeks, so I can start at the beginning.  I’ll get done before she delivers.  I’m starting fresh. I’m too effing funny not to.

If only I knew what the future held...

If you know me, you know my uterus was a piece of shit and I had everything ripped clear out of me recently.  If you don’t know me, that means that I had a full hysterectomy because my uterus was a piece of shit.

Growing up, my uterus messed with me on so many levels, I would have ripped it out myself if I didn’t hold out some hope that I’d bear children, even though I was told by multiple doctors that I never would.

Apparently, they were wrong. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

Okay, I have something to confess.  When Tide contacted me about Tide Washing Machine Cleaner, my first thought was “Yay!  Awesome treat for my readers!” and my second was “I thought only MY washing machine stank!”.

I’m terrible about doing laundry.  Come on, admit it.  Some of you are like me and run your wash and then completely forget  to put it in the dryer.  Yeah.  I’ve done that.  For like three days.

Don’t you go giving me that whatever negative thing you’re giving me.  We get BUSY.  We forget.  I typically do everything in my power to have someone else do my laundry for me.

I live in a testosterone filled house.  Lids are left up, clothing is left in random places throughout the house and beds are never made.  What I do is put the lid down with my foot because I’m a psycho about that, pick the clothes off the floor and throw them in the washing machine (if I intend to wash them or not) and completely ignore the beds, because I’m just as bad.

Then I open my washer.  Ew.  You know that smell.  Mildew and nasty.  You keep your machines hidden away in the basement or laundry room for a reason.  Clothes STINK.  Stinky clothes will lead to stinky washing machines.

Well, not anymore!  Tide has just come out with the Tide Washing Machine Cleaner that’s been designed to save us from stinky machines!  Here’s some info from the company, because they say it SO much better than I ever could. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

It’s 8:30 in the morning and I just sat down to write this post and immediately decided I had to have another Gatorade G2 because I was SO thirsty.

The truth is, I am.  I just woke up.

I don’t quite know what the issue is with me, but I seem to be a medical mess and until it’s all figured out, I’m going to take various medications at various times throughout the day.

One of them makes me very dehydrated.  Especially given the amount I work out.

When I started taking this medication, it was like a crazy diuretic.  I didn’t have any weight loss from all of it, but I could tell I was dehydrated.  I actually measured the amount of water I drank daily because I read that a person can actually drink too much water, called “Water Intoxication” and well if I can’t have regular intoxication (I don’t drink alcohol) than I’m surely not getting water intoxication.

So what was happening to me was a constant thirst from both physical exertion and medication.   I was getting SO SICK of water and tried and liked the flavored waters like Propel but my friend advised me to try Gatorade since I’m a super active, very healthy (ish) Wii Mommy. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

We’re sick.  All of us.  My entire household, children included.  My kids are about to turn 5 and 2 years old.  What is a parent supposed to do these days with a sick child?

Before, parents didn’t think twice about grabbing a spoon and chasing their kids around the house to give them a poorly measured dosage of awful tasting medication.  Now, medication tastes like candy to kids and my oldest acts like he scored a candy bar when he hears he needs to have some medication.

We also have the fear of what our kids can and can not take.  My son had the most horrible cough ever and I spent about 45 minutes in the store reading the dosage information to ensure I could purchase something that was suitable for his age (Triaminic long lasting cough is approved for children under four).

My little one, he’s just stuck suffering.  You can’t medicate a tiny little adorable little man who’s barely two years old.  The best I can do for him is put a humidifier in his room and some baby menthol rub on the outside of his clothes (I won’t apply it to his skin, I hear it could burn or make a child cold) and listen to him suffer all night long.

Then I came across this video. I couldn’t have watched it at a better time. (It gets better. Click to continue reading…)