I’m actually writing this on Thursday because Ryan is taking Friday off to spend some time by the pool with me.  The poor guy hasn’t even had a chance to use it because it’s rained every weekend since we’ve opened it and the sun doesn’t shine on it after five so it’s too cold to go in when he gets home from work.  It’s finally hit eighty degrees so I’ve been swimming constantly (except today, I feel like horse shit) and I have the entire weekend to myself because Ryan and the kids are going to his moms condo in Myrtle Beach (I hate beaches and we don’t trust anyone with our saltwater tanks).  I’m going to sleep, swim, tan and bar!  Woot!

The fairy tale meme

Snow White: Do you consider yourself pretty? Name the part of your body you think is the most beautiful!

Seriously?  I’m SUPER pretty.  I pride myself on my vanity.  It’s part of my niche.  I’d have to say my best feature is my hair, I wouldn’t be nearly as hot with a different style, I’ve tried several and this is the one that works best for me.  I also have a great rack.

Cinderella: What is your shoe size?

8 1/2.  I have this pair of Jessica Simpson shoes that everyone loves that I’ve  beat into the ground.  They have no soles and kill my feet but it’s really all about looking good isn’t it?

Sleeping Beauty: How many hours do you sleep each night?

Funny you mention it, I’m sick today because I didn’t sleep enough last night.  I figured out that I need at least ten hours of sleep each night to not be sick to my stomach and I can’t wake up before noon or I’m a train wreck.  I got up at ten today and can’t get off the couch.  I typically take sleeping pills right before bed (around one in the morning) and wake up at about six and take a second dose.  I’m an insomniac who needs a shitload of sleep.

Little Red Riding Hood: What is your favorite food?  

Potatoes.  Give them to me any way you want them.  I’m having fried today and baked tomorrow.

The Frog Prince: What do you find disgusting?

People brushing their teeth.  It makes me want to vomit.  Even the sound of a toothbrush on a tooth makes me shiver.  When I was a kid and central air didn’t exist I used to picture people brushing their teeth so I would shiver and cool off during the hot summer nights.  I’m so weird.

Jack and the Beanstalk: What plants are in your room?

Fake ones.  Ryan put one real one far out of my reach on the top of the fridge so I won’t kill it.  One look at a plant and it dies, I’m hoping my new garden holds up.

Puss in Boots: Do you have a pet? Do you want one?

We’ve had our dog Tribute for eleven years (since he was four weeks old) and we have one seahorse and about twenty saltwater fish that we adore.  Fish really do have personalities.  Especially Bruce.

Rumpelstiltskin: What is the meaning of your url?  

I actually hate the name of my blog.  I used to be Cool Mom Guide but it got confused with Cool Mom Picks and they raised hell about me changing my name.  I had all of a day to do it and I knew it needed to have mom in the title because I’m a mommy blogger and it pulls in sponsors so I came up with ‘Momspective’ – a combination of mom and perspective.  I’m skewed so my blog may as well be too.

The Little Mermaid: Can you sing?

Quite well for the most part.  I used to be a karaoke whore and I’d sing about three days a week but I burned myself out and I haven’t gone in months.  I now frequent a country bar, something I never thought I would say.

Pinocchio: What is your greatest wish?

I want my kids to grow up and not need therapy because I did something to fuck up their lives.

Peter Pan: What is your (mental) age?  

I’m 36, look 25 and act about 50. A year ago I’d say I act 18 but these kids make me feel OLD.

The Star Money: What is your most prized possession?

My pool.  It’s brand new but it means more to me than any other material object I have and I’m a very materialistic person.  I think I’m going to show you before and after pictures on Monday.  My back yard is amazing now.

Holy matrimony am I a mess.  You see, I have to take bipolar medicine twice a day because I’m LOCO and if my husband doesn’t ask me if I took my morning dose I always forget them.  The irony is that I always take them before he asks me unless it’s a day that he doesn’t ask me (usually on the weekends because it’s when I disable the house alarm that sends a text to his phone that I did so and it’s his reminder to ask me, he disables it on the weekends while I’m asleep so he forgets).

So last night at about 7:30 I walk into the bathroom to pee and I glance at my pills.  Sunday is still full.  I begin to question if it really is Sunday and then I went over the weekend in my head to remember that yes, it was indeed Sunday and I had absolutely forgotten my medicine.  I take them and tell my husband who follows up with a “What the fuck” (maybe an “Oh shit”) and I proceed to put the kids and husband to bed.

Then I freaked out.

(It gets better. Click to continue reading…)

Howdy folks!  I have a quick little announcement to make before I meme.  I’ll be changing my schedule to Monday-Wednesday-Friday as of last Monday (in case you haven’t noticed) because I have a beautiful new pool that I can’t tear myself away from and two children too impatient to wait for me to do this (well one is currently sleeping but come summer they’ll be impatient – right now it’s just me).  I load up on my SPF50 and lay in my zero gravity chair tanning only the front of me since it doesn’t lay flat and occasionallyswim in the 74 degree water that is colder than one would think.  I think I’m looking at a box from Amazon that has a pool raft in it so I can tan both sides while comfortably floating around and I’m anxious to get on it so let’s meme!

(It gets better. Click to continue reading…)